


the color of my sky

by Holom



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holom/pseuds/Holom
Summary: a one-shot collectionsurprise: snow storm!; straightened hair; two places at one time; my hat says 23; beyond; under the lights; fort blanket; baby (just make out with me); skater; how about now?; rose city 'til...it’s grieving time for tobin’s thorns career and if y’all want to be sad some more (but then hopefully happy and more at peace with it) come and read the latest chapter
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 286
Kudos: 680





	1. surprise: snow storm!

**Author's Note:**

> as soon as I saw the picture of tobin on christen’s instagram story I got inspiration to write this!

As consciousness slowly made its way into Christen’s being and her body told her it was time to get up, for the first time in a long time she didn’t actually want to.

A chill sat in the air, not necessarily unusual for Portland, but perhaps for this time of year. She felt the edge of the blanket she slept under haphazardly resting against the middle of her back, and she tried to squirm under it a bit more, hoping for some warmth.

She knew it was risky – the warmer she was under the blankets, the less likely she was to get up for yoga. But it was almost completely game over when she slid down in the bed only to end up right against her own personal heat source.

Tobin’s arms wrapped around her instinctively even in her sleep and oh, it was going to take _a lot_ from Christen to get up now. She allowed herself a few more minutes, laying with her eyes closed and a smile on her face as her fiancée’s little puffs of breath gently tickled the back of her neck.

A long while later, and with a strength she didn’t know she possessed, she managed to pull herself out of the bed – though not for a lack of trying from either of them. Tobin wasn’t awake, but her body certainly knew Christen was trying to get up. A smile crossed Christen’s face at the sleepy whine that left Tobin’s mouth and the way her arms stretched out, as if they were looking for where she’d gone.

She wanted so badly to get back in, to plant kisses all over Tobin’s face and her soft skin, to wrap her in her arms. She resisted, only to honor the morning rhythm she held so close to herself. Yoga brought her balance and strength. Meditation brought her reflectiveness.

But Tobin brought her bliss, and as soon as she’d finished her routine she raced back to her, showering quickly before sliding right back under the sheets.

Tobin’s body was a little more awake this time, her arms immediately circling around Christen’s waist. Christen tangled their fingers together, smiling stupidly to herself when she felt Tobin’s finger against the ring on her own.

It was a weird thing to her, to be engaged. Not because she never expected it – she and Tobin had known for a long time now that this was the direction they’d wanted to go in. It was weird because it truly surprised her how electrifying and exhilarating it was every time she thought about it.

She always knew she’d be happy and excited. She knew she’d be over the moon. But this feeling – the heart racing, permanent smile, wanting to kiss Tobin silly every single time she saw her – she joyously never anticipated this.

It had been a new turn for their relationship, a new starting point. Everything felt more significant, everything more meaningful. If this was a glimpse to the rest of their lives, Christen couldn’t wait.

“Hi, beautiful.”

The smile on Christen’s face only grew bigger at Tobin’s greeting. She kissed their intertwined hands before turning around in her arms, face to face. “Good morning.”

Tobin’s eyes finally cracked open, her smile lines immediately showing as the corners of her mouth lifted up. “You came back to bed.”

“Yeah.” Christen nodded, moving closer to Tobin at the reminder of why and happily resting her head against her chest. “It’s cold today.”

A kiss dropped to the top of Christen’s head and Tobin’s arms wrapped around her tighter. “It’s going to be a good day.”

The never ending positivity and excitement that Tobin had for life was one of Christen’s favorite things about her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“We’re going to get married.”

A short laugh left Tobin’s mouth, another kiss landing on Christen’s head. “Yeah, baby. We are.”

\---

“What’s outside?” Christen hit reply on the email and closed the laptop, looking over to where Tobin was standing by the window, gazing out of it.

Her fiancée turned back to her, and Christen immediately spotted the brightness sitting in her eyes as she bounced on her feet. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“For a walk?” The sky was a light grey, not necessarily resembling the sure impending rain that always splashed down in Portland, but not exactly sunny weather that convinced one to go out, either.

“Yeah.” Tobin continued to smile. “I’ve got a good feeling. Let’s go out.”

It was going to be cold. But Tobin had that look in her eyes, and that excited smile, and there was just no way that Christen could say no to her, ever.

“Okay. But we’re having coffee here first.”

“For sure.”

“And you’re holding me if it gets too cold.”

Tobin bounded over to her, wrapping her in a hug and pecking her cheeks over and over until she was in a fit of laughter. “Always, baby. Always.”

\---

The smile hadn’t stayed off Tobin’s face all morning. Christen looked at her with a matching smile of her own, her eyes completely soft for the woman in front of her.

“You can’t take the Cali out of the girl, huh?” Tobin teased lightly as she tucked a piece of hair out of the way of Christen’s face, readjusting the knit cap on her head. “You’re too cute.”

Christen just grinned at her, kissing her softly before the doors to the elevators opened, letting them out of the building and onto the street. They were holding hands, the sleeve of Christen’s hoodie pulled down as far as it could go whilst still having function of her hand. Next to her, Tobin basically bounced in step as they walked.

“When I was a kid, so many of my favorite memories were from when the weather was doing something crazy.” Tobin laughed to herself as she remembered. “If we ever looked bored inside the house, Mom would send us outside. She’d say how could you be bored? You’ve got a whole world out there to explore! So we did.”

“Even Katie and Perry?”

“As they got older, they were definitely less inclined to get outside in whatever weather with Jeff and I. But we sometimes managed to convince them. Once it poured down, like _torrential_ rain, and I was beside myself with excitement. We got dressed up in all the waterproof clothes we had and we stayed outside for a long time. I’d always wanted to see what the ball looked like when I was juggling in a puddle, and how fast we could race sticks down the street – ”

“Like in Winnie the Pooh?”

“Yeah.” Tobin laughed as Christen’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Yellow rain jackets and everything.”

“Oh _nooo_!” Christen exclaimed, her face squeezing with a coo. “That would have been so cute! I’m just picturing you now, little skinny legs running around with a rain jacket that’s too big for you.” She squeezed their hands excitedly, laughing with Tobin.

“We also once tried to cook an egg on the pavement outside when it was scorching hot. Thought we could beat the kitchen inside.”

“Oh, we definitely did that as well.” Christen nodded. “Well, Channing and I tried. Tyler loved to tell us why it wouldn’t work. I’m pretty sure the only things that ended up getting burnt were our noses in the sun.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore, Captain Sun Smart.” Tobin teased, gaining an eye roll from Christen at the reference to the way she plastered sun cream on her face every training.

“You’re damn right.”

They followed the streets around their house, walking leisurely, no real aim or purpose in mind. Tobin separated their hands briefly to fix her hair under her hat again, and as soon as Christen lost that warmth she shoved her hands in her hoodie pocket.

Christen was busy admiring the trees lining the street they were walking down and she didn’t see Tobin’s outstretched hand again until it tapped against her side.

“You’ve replaced my hand already?”

The pout on Tobin’s face, playful though it was, tugged at Christen’s heart and she swore she melted a little inside. Tobin never ceased to make her feel all the good emotions all the time.

“Now you’re too cute, baby.” Christen sent her a soft smile as she took Tobin’s hand back, squeezing at it. “How’s that good feeling for today going?”

“Oh, it’s there.” Tobin grinned. “You’ll see.”

She didn’t really know what to make of Tobin’s statement, but as they rounded the block again back to their street, a few flurries falling down in front of her eyes made her gasp.

“Tobs, Tobin. It’s snowing!” Christen almost stopped in her tracks, looking up at the sky and back all around them. “It’s snowing!”

Tobin laughed at her excitement, looking at her with a knowing glint in her eyes, and when Christen looking around in delight to focus on her face, she questioned her. “This wasn’t your good feeling, was it?”

“Well, I was hoping it would happen.”

“How did you know it was supposed to snow? I had no idea!”

Tobin tugged them forward again, keeping on track to the house. Being outside in the snow was great, but it wasn’t wise to stay out in it for too long, especially only in hoodies as they were. “I saw on the weather app last night there was a small prediction for it. And then the sky this morning, it looked the same as other times it has snowed in Portland. I just had a feeling.”

“I’m glad you did. I’m glad you brought us out here.” Christen sent Tobin a soft look, once again feeling how lucky she was to have someone as thoughtful as Tobin. She held her hand out for some of the falling snow, laughing at it. They walked for a while, Christen taking out her phone for a quick photo of the street. She then turned her phone to Tobin, laughing at the excited smile that over took the woman’s face. “I love this.”

“I’m sorry, is a Cali girl actually excited about something cold?”

“Oh, shut up.” Christen rolled her eyes at Tobin, stopping their walk and separating their hands to hold both of hers out. She watched as the snowflakes landed and melted, over and over.

“Should I give you and the snow some privacy, or?”

“You’re such an ass.” Christen laughed, shoving at Tobin’s shoulder as she took her hand back, leading them home. “Now my hands are cold.”

“Funny that.” Tobin grinned, kissing Christen’s knuckles before moving their intertwined hands into her hoodie pocket. “Lucky for you, I’m good at warming them up.”

There was the slightest change in Tobin’s tone of voice at the end, enough for Christen to look at her with half an eyebrow raised, the slightest looks of anticipation resting on her face.

“I’ll be good at warming all of you up.” Tobin whispered to Christen, kissing her jaw as their building came into sight, melting a bit at the way a flush immediately appeared on her neck.

And if Christen picked up her pace a bit, the snow now a lost concern to her, Tobin wasn’t about to complain at all.


	2. straightened hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is honestly 0% plot, 100% fluff but i am who i am

It starts with her name.

“Tobin.”

The voice sounds serious. Well, tries to, anyway.

“Tobin.”

A crack of a smile comes into it.

“Tobin!”

Then, an amused laugh breaks out of her mouth.

“Tobin, stop!”

“What?” Tobin grins around the toothbrush in her mouth, mischief glistening in her eyes as she stares at her fiancée in the bathroom mirror.

“You’re hogging all the space.” Christen gives her a knowing look, though that darn smile is still plastered onto her face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chris.” Tobin muffles out, toothpaste edging out of the corner of her mouth. She laughs as she sees Christen roll her eyes and go back to straightening her hair.

Christen was funny about her hair. For someone with the most magnificent curls, Tobin sometimes couldn’t understand why she straightened it so much. For games, she understood. The humidity was no friend to the curls and having it straight meant she had one less thing to worry about on the field.

But other times, Tobin always used to ask her why. She’d wondered if there was some deeper meaning to it. In the end, the answer was so very Christen she wondered how she hadn’t noticed it before.

“It’s relaxing, straightening it.” Christen had told her once, as she took her hair section by section, methodically running it through the straightener. “It’s kind of like a different form of meditation. I don’t have to think, I just get to be.”

Whatever the reason for it, Tobin loved watching Christen doing it. Loved seeing the peaceful relaxation come across her face. Loved seeing the happy look Christen gave herself in the mirror when she was done. Loved running her hands through the soft as silk strands. 

Tobin also loved making Christen laugh, and that was precisely the reason for Christen’s half-hearted protests earlier. Their bathroom mirror wasn’t the most spacious thing in the world, but it was definitely big enough for two people to stand side by side.

Slowly but surely, Tobin was edging across the mirror space, moving in front of Christen’s reflection from where she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, looking in the mirror as she worked.

At first, she looked around Tobin, wondering whether her fiancée hadn’t realized where she’d moved to. But then she’d seen the playfulness in her eyes, the grin that wrapped around her toothbrush. She couldn’t even be annoyed, Tobin was so full of life and fun.

“Tobin!” Christen exclaimed one last time as Tobin stepped in front of her again, laughing. She reached her foot out and kicked her butt lightly, shaking her head at her. “You’ve been brushing your teeth for like 5 minutes. I think you’re good.”

Tobin gave her a response in return, but the toothbrush in her mouth prevented any intelligible words coming out.

“ _Baby_ ,” Christen laughed, shaking her head in exasperation. “You are really something else.”

Tobin just grinned, finally spitting out and rinsing her mouth. She turned back to Christen, taking one of her hands and kissing over the engagement ring before gently kissing her on the lips. “Hey, you said yes.”

Christen hummed against her lips, pulling her in closer before whispering against her lips. “I’ll say yes to you again later today if you go and make me a coffee.”

“Christen Press, are you bribing me with sex?”

Christen’s shoulders shrugged noncommittally, though a small smirk played on the edge of her lips. “I could always just say yes to myself.”

Tobin’s eyebrows shot to her hair line, her eyes growing the slightest shade darker as she processed the thought. “I know you said that like it was a threat, but now I want it to happen the most.”

Christen just rolled her eyes again, kissing her once more and trying not to be flustered that her fiancée could still make her blush like a school girl so easily.

\---

“Bye, P!” Christen called out to the screen, waving at it until it went black and cut out. As soon as she saw it was done she let out a long breath, her shoulders dropping any tension they were holding and a satisfied smile coming across her face.

She’d been both excited and not in anticipation of the live conversation with Pinoe on re-inc’s account. It was great, to her, that they could take this platform at this time and use it. But the whole idea of it rested well outside Christen’s comfort zone. She really had to push herself to do it. Of course, doing it with Pinoe, who could have a conversation with a brick wall, eased her worries. But still, she was glad to get through it.

“It’s done?” Tobin asked from her place on the couch, across the room from where Christen sat. She beckoned Christen over when she nodded in response, laughing as her fiancée basically fell onto the couch, her head resting in her lap.

Tobin’s hands moved through Christen’s hair gently, picking up the straightened locks and twirling them around her fingers gently. “You did amazing, Chris. I’m proud of you.”

Christen just hummed in response, eyes shut at Tobin’s ministrations. “Feels good.”

“Feels good that it’s done?”

“No. I mean, yes.” Christen murmured, her eyes still closed as she turned to the side, molding her body into Tobin’s. “Your hands feel good.”

A gentle laugh left Tobin’s mouth, her hands continuing on with their efforts. “You can nap, baby. I’m here.”

She’s pretty sure Christen is asleep before she even finishes her sentence.

\---

“I want to take a bath.”

One of Christen’s eyes cracks open when Tobin said that, looking at her. It’s not like Tobin _never_ took baths, it was just not what she was expecting to hear.

“You do?”

“Yes.” Tobin nodded, squeezing at Christen’s ankles from where her feet rested in her lap. They’d finished eating dinner a while ago, both leaning back and relaxing in their seats, listening to the quiet sounds of music filling the room and the stillness of the outside.

“You don’t need my permission to take a bath.” Christen’s eyes had shut again, but she could feel Tobin’s eyeroll from where she sat, and a grin took over her face.

“I know, ass. I want to take a bath _with_ you.”

Ah, so that was why Tobin had brought it up. On any other day, she wouldn’t have even had to ask and Christen would have been right there. But today, she’d spent a good long while straightening her hair. And getting in that bath was a recipe for it all coming apart.

“Baby, I straightened my hair.”

“I know, but you won’t even get it wet, you can just put it in a bun and sit behind me, your whole neck will be out of the water.”

“I’ll sit beside you in the bathroom, how’s that?”

“A horrible idea.” Tobin grinned, squeezing lightly and rhythmically at Christen’s ankles. “Please? I really want to.”

Christen knew if she opened her eyes and looked at that face Tobin was wearing she’d cave. She had almost fully caved just from the pout she could hear in her voice alone. She was too cute, entirely too cute, and it would be the death of Christen one day.

“Hmm.” Christen pretended to think about it, the corners of her lips quirking up. “I could be convinced. But it’s going to cost you.” She opened her eyes to see Tobin still grinning, and pointed to her cheek. “Right here.”

Tobin let her feet fall gently off her lap as she leaned over, her soft lips pressing against Christen’s cheek.

“And here.”

A kiss to her other cheek.

“And here.”

Their lips met and for a second, Tobin forgot all about wanting to take a bath. Every time Christen’s lips molded to hers she went a little lightheaded, even after all these years. She was tempted to slide her tongue along her lips, feel the way Christen would make a little sigh in delight and open for her, but she knew there was time for that later.

Instead, Tobin pulled away, kissing her once more softly before licking at the tip of her nose quickly as she got to her feet and held her hand out for Christen to take.

“Tobin!” Christen laughed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “You’re such an ass.”

\---

“So?”

“So, what?” Christen murmured back, feeling completely blissful soaking in the hot water with her fiancée. She was sitting against the back of the tub, Tobin leaning against her front, her head resting just between her shoulder and her neck. Christen’s hair was tied up into a bun on the top of her head, the little baby hairs that usually fell at the top of her neck clipped up.

Her hands were gently scratching Tobin’s scalp, massaging her head lightly in a way she knew Tobin melted for. She actually had to prod her question to her again, so dazed out was Tobin that she hadn’t even registered it.

“So are you happy with your decision to get in the bath with me.”

Christen just shook her head fondly, a small grin on her face. She leant down to kiss Tobin’s jaw, then her cheek, then she nipped her ear lobe lightly as she murmured back to her. “I’m happy anywhere I’m with you.”

A content hum came out of Tobin’s mouth, and she nestled back comfortably into Christen’s soft skin, letting the ministrations guide her into a soft then deep slumber. Christen felt her fiancée slowly descend into sleep, getting heavier and heavier against her until she was listening to the rhythmic sounds of Tobin’s breathing.

It was nice in the bath, the stillness of the night settling in comfortably around them both. It gave Christen the chance to reflect on the day, reflect on where they were right now and how happy she was to be here, always happy with Tobin.

She could feel the little puffs of breath from Tobin’s mouth hitting her skin, and it made her smile. Tobin looked younger when she slept, like the same teenager Christen first met, the one that shattered her college cup dreams when UNC beat Stanford, but also the one she could never forget.

It’s funny, Christen thinks, if someone had told her in college she would one day be sharing a bath with Tobin, and they’d be engaged to be married, she probably would have laughed in their face.

(She probably would have also flipped out in excitement, but she’d never really admit that to herself back then).

Now, though, she couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. No one else she’d rather be with. She dropped a soft kiss on the olive skin of Tobin’s shoulder, leaning back herself and letting her eyes close.

A while later, the water had moved from a blissful hot to edging on cold. Never one to sit in the cold for longer than necessary, Christen made moves to get out. Tobin was still heavy against her, but there’s no way she could be properly asleep after this short amount of time.

She tried to call her name a few times, an eyebrow raising when there was no response. She decided to resort to other methods, knowing what got Tobin moving that was always amusing to her.

The second she pressed her fingers into Tobin’s side, she realized just how wrong she was. Tobin had been, in fact, properly asleep, and the jolt awake into her most ticklish spot by Christen had sent her springing into consciousness again. Only, that wasn’t the only thing that happened, as her sudden movement sent water flying everywhere, splashing against the tiles on the side of the wall, and all over Christen’s head.

“Fuck!” Tobin clutched at her chest, panting, and Christen couldn’t help but fall into hysterics, wrapping her arms around Tobin comfortingly.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.” Christen kissed her cheek over and over, trying to stop her amusement as she replayed what just happened in her head. “I didn’t know you were that asleep, I’m sorry for scaring you.”

It took Tobin almost a whole minute to catch her breath, sagging against Christen and eventually laughing along with her. “Official ass of the day is _definitely_ you.”

“I’ll take it, I deserve that.” Christen kissed Tobin’s cheek again, turning her head slightly to look into her eyes to make sure she was properly okay.

Upon seeing her, Tobin immediately frowned, reaching up to her. “Oh, Chris! Your hair got all wet.”

Christen just shrugged, a grin on her face, not even caring. “I’d say it was worth it.”

“Well, I’m glad to be a source of amusement for you. But I’ll tell you this now, don’t start a pranking war you can’t win.”

“Oh really?” Christen’s eyes narrowed in playful competition, her brain already wracking with ideas. “You sound pretty confident, Heath.”

“That’s one day going to be Press-Heath, thank you very much.”

Another grin spread across Christen’s face, her hands cupping both of Tobin’s cheeks to kiss her softly. “I love you.”

Tobin murmured her response back lovingly against her lips, right before she cupped both her hands in the water, tipping them over Christen’s hair.

Christen squealed, the cold water dripping down her face and neck, and she shoved Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin laughed, kissing her in response, feeling Christen tug her closer.

“I might be an ass but you’re such a little shit for that. And you’re definitely straightening my hair tomorrow to fix it.”

Tobin just shrugged, a grin on her face, not even caring. “I’d say it was worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep the prompts coming if y'all have a request for a one-shot! as always, the feedback and the love you give my writing is honestly something else, i can't thank y'all enough. (gold love will be a while yet, but i'll keep writing these so long as inspiration strikes!)


	3. two places at one time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is based on the song 'two places at one time' by zac brown band. i wrote most of this like half a year ago and when this song shuffled onto my playlist yesterday it gave me the inspiration to finish it. i'm weak for these country songs

_I've seen the Northern lights_

_Paint the sky in shades of green_

Tobin never thought it was possible to miss something as much as her family in New Jersey. 

She was so fortunate, so blessed, to be able to play the sport she loved. Even more so to be able to travel and do it.

She’d seen parts of the world that made her mouth gape in wonder. She’d met people who couldn’t speak her language but still touched her soul with kindness.

Through all of it, she used to think how excited she was to go home and share it with her family.

_I've seen the daisy's dress of white_

_Laying on those mountain peaks_

Tobin was never one for social media.

But when she was away, she took countless photos.

Flowers that reminded her of her mom, funny coffee shop signs that reminded her of her sisters. Wacky statues that would make her brother laugh. Sporting stadiums that reminded her of when her dad used to take her to matches growing up.

She’d send them all home, a smile coming to her face as her family reacted to them. She would try and describe the scenery for them, telling them it was so much better in person. How she said they’d all have to come back to those places one day, together.

She wished she could put them in her pocket and bring them with her.

_And my heart knows a way back home_

_When the wind sings that old familiar song_

Tobin’s family was everything to her.

She didn’t have to think hard to come up with countless memories that brought a smile to her face.

Walking through her childhood home always brought an immediate antidote to her exhaustion from travelling. To whatever complications were happening in her career.

Seeing her family’s face light up when she was able to show them her medals and trophies in person. Watching her mom try and find the best space on the mantle to place them. Feeling the blush of embarrassment at how excited they all got, even after all these years.

Hearing the excited patter of the tiny feet of her nephews as they barrelled towards her the second she walked in the door. Kissing their soft cheeks and feeling their little arms wrap around her neck. Trying not to cry at how fast they were growing.

Being home healed everything in Tobin, always. 

_'Cause I've been all around the world_

_Seen things that no one would believe_

_Thought I was lookin' at a picture_

_In some fancy magazine_

The incessant buzzing of her phone woke her up way earlier than she was happy about. She wasn’t going to check it when she saw it was still the early hours of the morning, but she saw her family group chat had come alight with notifications.

“ _Get_ out _that is not your view every day, Tobin!”_ Her sister had messaged in response to Tobin’s photo from the night before.

Tobin had been sitting on her tiny balcony in her Paris apartment. The sun was setting, hitting the tops of the buildings in a way that didn’t seem like real life. Tobin’s whole stint at PSG sometimes didn’t seem like real life. It was all rolling in too good.

She’d sent the photo to her family, knowing how they all romanticised France so much.

 _“That’s it, I’m moving there.”_ Her other sister had messaged.

 _“Bring me a whole suitcase of croissants back please, Toby._ ” Her brother had messaged, making Tobin snort.

“ _My darling daughter, living the dream. What a blessing your life is, I’m so proud of you.”_

While all the messages before had made her laugh, her mom’s message tugged at her heart. Forgetting the fact that it was 3am in Paris, she longed for her family to be there with her. She wanted to watch Parisian sunsets with her parents, and shove her face full of French pastries with her siblings.

She was so thankful for being able to live the life she had. But she felt guilty only she was able to enjoy it.

_And out of everywhere I've been_

_Oh it kills me every time_

_If I could only find how to be 2 places at 1 time_

Tobin never thought it was possible to miss something as much as her family in New Jersey. 

Sometimes video calls with them ended with Tobin feeling like she might cry at how much her heart ached for them. She loved soccer. Adored it with all her being.

But she loved her family, too. And she couldn’t help but feel like she was choosing soccer over them.

Perhaps somewhat unhelpfully, her mom used to tell her to just wait until she fell in love. To wait until you felt like you’d left your heart with someone when you had to be apart, it only piecing back together when you fell into their arms again. 

“If you think it’s hard to miss us,” she used to say, “just wait until the one person who becomes the centre of your universe can’t be in your arms every night.”

Tobin used to nod absently, never really believing something that powerful could happen to her. 

And then came Christen Press. 

_I've seen the sun spin weeds of gold_

_On those Oklahoma plains_

Tobin was amazed at how quickly her world axis rotated to revolve around Christen when they got together.

Now that she had Christen in her life, she couldn’t believe she had ever lived without her.

Everything was more meaningful with Christen. Everything was funnier, kinder, softer, more loving. Everything beautiful reminded her of Christen.

“I love that you send me Portland sunset photos every day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Christen replied, and Tobin swore she could hear her soft smile through the phone.

“Well I know how much you love watching the sun set. And since Chicago is two hours apart, you get to see two sunsets in one day with my pictures.”

This time, Christen’s smile was undeniable. “If I was there with you now I would kiss you so hard.”

“I wish you were, Chris.”

_I've seen the moon all million times_

_On those Santa Rosa waves_

Tobin sighed for what felt like the 50th time that night, and heard Christen’s sympathetic murmur on the other side of the phone.

“Still can’t sleep, baby?”

The pout formed on Tobin’s face before she herself realised it. “I can’t ever sleep without you here.”

She heard Christen laugh, cooing again. “Yes you can. You’re just saying that because you got knocked in your game today and now you’re feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Am not.” Tobin’s reply came, but the grin was evident in her voice.

“I miss you, Tobs. And I know what you mean. It’s always easier to fall asleep with you by my side.”

Tobin sighed again.

“Tell me what the sky in Portland looks like.” Christen said. Tobin recognised her quick change in conversation topic but decided not to comment on it. Talking about how much they missed each other often only made them both sadder.

She got out of the bed – it’s not like she was close to sleep anyways – and went to sit on the bay window looking up at the sky.

“There’s lots of stars out tonight. I think I can see Little Dipper.”

“I can see it, too. See baby, we’re still connected under the same sky.”

Tobin wished it was enough to stop her heart ache.

_And my heart knows the way back home_

_When the wind sings that old familiar song_

She didn’t know when it started happening. When she started associating Christen with home.

She would answer her team mates when they asked whether she was going home whenever they had a break in their schedule.

It was always to wherever Christen was. To wherever she could see her love with the smile so bright that it lit up the room, and the hug so strong it melted Tobin’s worries away, and the kiss so soft Tobin thought her knees might give out.

_'Cause I've been all around the world_

_Done things that no one would believe_

_Thought I was livin' in a movie_

_On that giant silver screen_

When the final whistle sounded in the 2017 NWSL championship game Tobin near fell to the grass in elation and relief.

She was so proud of her team. So proud of Portland. And fuck, she was so proud of herself. She’d worked her way back from a back injury that had taken her out for most of the season. She’d watched her team play without her, agonisingly unable to help them.

She’d made it back for the playoffs. Her ankle was somewhat killing her, having been taken out in the final. But the joy bursting out of her was enough to put it at the back of her mind.

“Tobin! Heath! Tobin! Heath!” The chants filled the stadium, echoing off every corner.

They hugged each other, they lifted the trophy together, they danced in the confetti.

After spending most of the season not knowing whether she’d be able to make it back for this moment she took a deep breath in, soaking it all up.

This is what it was all about.

_And out of everywhere I've been_

_Oh it kills me every time_

_If I could just divide_

_I could be 2 places at 1 time_

“I’m dating a league superstar.” Tobin could hear Christen’s grin through the phone as she spoke. “Congratulations, baby. I’m _so_ proud of you. You worked so hard to get back for this.”

Christen’s words made Tobin blush, staring at the ground with a big smile on her face like she was a kid in school talking to her crush. She felt her heart flutter, bursting with the praise she was hearing. Christen’s opinion had always mattered so much to her. And she had made her proud.

“I wish you were here with me. Wish we could play on the same team. Win a trophy together.”

“What, our World Cup isn’t enough?”

Tobin laughed, loving how Christen made everything light, even the sad times. “Let’s go for round two in 2019.”

“You and me, baby. Always.”

_How can I keep what I got_

_When I don't know what I'm missing?_

“Chris?” Tobin fumbled for the lamp switch next to her bed as she hit accept on her phone, voice heavy with sleep. 

She sat up so fast she got dizzy when all she heard in reply was a gut wrenching sob. 

“Chris? Baby, talk to me.” 

Another sob. 

Tobin’s eyes clenched shut as she listened to Christen on the phone. Each cry was like a stab to her heart.

No matter how many soft comforts she murmured through the phone, they kept coming.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened, but it was the first time in a while. It had been months, now, but Tobin was learning grief came in many forms. 

And when you least expected it to hit. 

Tobin had done everything in her power to be there for Christen and her family. To ease the pain of losing the one they loved the most. Everything short of taking a season off the NWSL and staying with Christen wherever she went. 

She knew Christen would never have let her. With time, things were slowly healing. She had way more good days than bad. 

On the good days, Tobin could forgive herself for living her dream in Portland. 

On the bad days, Tobin felt selfish. More than selfish. 

On the bad days, Tobin near resented herself for living in Portland. On the bad days she longed to be with Christen, giving her the physical comfort she knew she loved.

“Let it out, baby. I’m here, I’m here.” She cooed into the phone, trying to quell Christen’s sobs. 

But she wasn’t there. And right now those words felt woefully inadequate. 

_Meeting islands when I home_

_Miss my family when I'm gone_

She promised Christen she’d be there for her, always. She murmured declarations and affirmations into her skin. She’d sealed every kiss with unconditional love. 

Yet she was thousands of miles away. Unable to truly fulfil those promises. How much were her words over the phone worth? How meaningful were her promises if she couldn’t hold Christen? If she couldn’t wipe her tears away and wrap her in her arms. Away from all the hurt and loss that surrounded her. 

Tobin prayed her words were enough. 

She swore when she could hold her next she wouldn't let go.

_'Cause I've been all around this world_

_Lived things that no one would believe_

_Never thought I'd move so many people_

_They gave this life to me_

Seeing fans holding signs for her or wearing her shirt or screaming her name never got old.

The sight of it would make a smile hit her face and a blush run to her cheeks. 

She would shake her head, as if to think after all these years this could still all be a dream.

She played soccer because she loved it. She loved it with every last fibre of her being. She never did it for the praise, or for the glory. But the beauty of the sport was that it connected everyone.

She didn’t set out on her career to inspire little girls, but she did. She didn’t set out to be one of the faces championing the fight for equality, but she was. She didn’t set out to be the person kids watched videos of, trying to emulate her tricks on the field, but she was.

It was crazy to her, and she’d never take it for granted. She didn’t know what she’d done to be this blessed, but she swore she’d use her platform well.

_And out of everywhere I've been_

_Oh it kills me every time_

_Maybe I'd be satisfied_

_If I could just divide_

_And be 2 places at 1 time_

Where she grew up in New Jersey would always be her childhood home. She would always find comfort with her family there.

But her mom was right. And it stunned Tobin silent when she realised.

Her heart was full of so many things. It came to life on the soccer field, with her family, with her friends.

But her heart _soared_ for Christen. It would forever more.

She never thought it would happen to her. Could never imagine she would be so lucky to love and be loved by someone like this. But it had, and it settled a warmth inside her that brought her comfort like no else.

Christen’s arms wrapped around her where she lay behind her in the bed, her nose nuzzling against her bare back in her sleep. Her skin was warm against her, hands splayed out across her stomach.

Tobin smiled as she counted the seconds between each puff of breath that left Christen’s mouth. Her presence warmed her, her scent enveloped her. This was where Tobin was meant to be, right in her arms. Now she knew it.

Home stopped being a place.

Home was a person. 

Home was with Christen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this song and i thought it fit tobin and christen's long distance (though it's not currently!) relationship well. y'all have been so kind with the love and comments you've shown these little chapters and i'm so grateful! i love reading them and they inspire me so much. please everyone stay safe and healthy, i hope y'all are hanging in there okay!
> 
> p.s. gold love will be updated tomorrow(!!!!!!)


	4. my hat says 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the first one-shot i ever wrote on ao3! it was inspired by tobin wearing the 23 hat to the royals home game vs north carolina courage in july 2019. 
> 
> it might sound kind of strange but i decided i want all my one-shots to be in the same place in this one work as different chapters. so i'm eventually going to move the ones i've already posted last year across to here. it's a bit sad because it gets rid of all the nice comments on the original piece, but hopefully me putting it here means you get to come across it once more and read it again! and it will make me happy to have them all nicely in the one work haha.

“Tobin!”

“Yes, my love?”

Christen sighed exasperatedly at Tobin’s voice of innocence, though the corners of her mouth twitched up in amusement. She picked her black shorts up off the floor, stepping into them.

“I can feel you staring at me. And I can hear your grin from here!” She finally pulled her shorts into place, turning to look at her girlfriend.

Tobin was laying on her back on Christen’s bed at her Utah apartment, hands resting behind her head with a shit eating grin on her face.

“What am I supposed to do when you bend down with no shorts on? I’m only human.” Tobin watched as Christen rolled her eyes with the same smile of amusement. As she was walking past the bed, Tobin reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her down for a kiss. “But you? You are something else entirely. I missed you so much.”

Heat rose to Christen’s cheeks at the words Tobin whispered against her mouth. She kissed her again. “Baby, it was like five days.”

Brown eyes pulled away to look into green, a hint of mischief in them. “Are you saying you didn’t miss me?”

“You know I did.” Christen knew all too well how much she hated the feeling of being away from Tobin. It had been especially hard the last week and a bit, after having spent almost every waking minute before that together at the World Cup.

She was thankful Portland was only a short plane ride away, and even more so that they had played each other the week before, giving Tobin a reason to be near her. Still, she always found herself wishing there was a way she could snap her fingers at any moment and be at her side.

Christen gave Tobin one last kiss before she pulled away, moving to the mirror to do her hair. She had just started to comb through it when Tobin caught her eye with a grin so wide she started to laugh.

Christen turned around to look at her, comb forgotten in her hand for the mean time. “Why are you grinning like that?”

A look of innocence crossed Tobin’s face. “Like what?”

“Like you’re really excited about something but you aren’t telling me what.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Chris.”

“Hmm.” Unconvinced, Christen turned back to the mirror to resume with her hair. She didn’t make much progress though, getting too distracted by Tobin’s cute actions as she continued to grin to herself, watching Christen intently.

Tobin had been like that all day, ever since she arrived at Christen’s apartment early in the morning from her flight. Christen wondered what was going on in her girlfriend’s mind, but was also enjoying her funny, excited nature. She knew she’d eventually figure out what had her girl so jovial.

“Are you going to braid it?” Tobin asked, watching Christen fiddle with her hair. “You looked both adorable and hot in that picture you sent me from your training yesterday. How do you do that?”

Another blush crept onto Christen’s cheeks at Tobin’s words, smiling at the compliment. Even after all the years they had been together, she still felt like a high schooler with a crush around Tobin, the only person who could make her cheeks red and her heart soar.

“Maybe I would have, but _someone_ distracted me and now I don’t have time.”

Tobin laughed. “Hey! I didn’t break your no sex before a game rule.”

“You certainly tried.”

“Got pretty close, too.” Tobin’s eyebrows waggled as she looked at Christen in the mirror, watching the woman laugh at her antics. “One day, babe. One day.”

“I’m sure if you could you would have tried to before the game last week. See if you could throw me off my game.” Christen said, remembering back to when the Royals played the Thorns.

“Okay, I resent that you would accuse me of sleeping with you to help my team win. Would I consider it if it was the championship finals? Who could say.” Christen snorted, fully believing Tobin would. “And second, nothing could have thrown you off your game last week. You absolutely crushed it. And that goal? That nutmeg! I wanted to marry you on the spot.”

Tobin remembered how her eyes had lit up at Christen’s goal, even if it was against her own team. She had to sit on her hands as to not act on instinct and jump up to cheer for her. Sitting next to her on the bench, Sonnett had cackled with laughter, watching Tobin struggle internally with being disappointed at being a goal down and being out of this world impressed at her girlfriend.

Staring at Tobin’s wide eyes and huge smile, Christen couldn’t help it anymore. She ditched her hair in the mirror in favor of leaping onto the bed, feeling Tobin wrap her arms around her as she pressed into her side. “You spent all weekend telling me how amazing you thought that goal was…and showing me.” Christen murmured into Tobin’s ear, pressing a kiss to the skin underneath it before a grin came onto her face. “But please, don’t let me stop you from talking about how great I am.”

“You’re such a dork.” Tobin laughed, kissing Christen and trying to forget how her body had shuddered at Christen murmuring into her ear. She’d have plenty of time for that later, she just had to wait until the game was done.

Before either girl could get another word in, Rachel called out down the hallway.

“Press, are you almost ready?”

At the call to action, Christen got up from the bed, slapping Tobin’s hands away when she playfully tried to pull her back down. She stood in the middle of her room, mentally checking off in her head that she had everything, when she saw Tobin with the same wide grin plastered across her face.

“If I had any more time I would get you to crack and tell me why you’ve got that grin on your face, and you know I would!” Christen picked up her bag and cupped Tobin’s grinning face in her hands. “You’re such a weirdo.”

“And you love me.”

Tobin even grinned through their kiss. Both women then leaned their foreheads against each other, sharing a peaceful moment before Christen had to leave.

“You’re going to be great. Kick some North Carolina ass out there.”

“You saying that wouldn’t at all be incentivized by how close North Carolina would catch up to the Thorns if they do win this game, would it?”

“Never, babe.” Tobin put a kiss on Christen’s forehead before giving her a gentle push towards the door. “I love you. Look out for me in the stands.”

“I’ll put one in the back of the net, just for you.” Christen smiled, standing with her hand on the door. “I love you.”

Tobin smiled as she left, and then remembered about Christen’s roommate. “Good luck, Corsie!” She hollered out the open door from her position on the bed, laughing as she heard Rachel’s reply.

“Thanks, ya Thorn!”

\----------

Tobin couldn’t help it, the grin stayed on her face the entire drive to the stadium.

She left quite a while after Christen and Rachel had made their way to the game, parking Christen’s car. When she got out, she made sure she was holding her keys, phone, wallet, and the hat that had put her in the good mood all day.

The hat sat in her hands as she walked towards the stadium, feeling pretty proud of herself for seeing it in the Nike store and thinking how much Christen would love it. She laughed at how Lindsey and Sonnett had both fake gagged when they saw what she was buying, the black hat with a white 23 stitched on the front.

“What? It’s the Air Jordan hat.” Tobin had grinned in innocence at the two younger players as they rolled their eyes, teasing her all the way home about how whipped she was.

She knew Christen would get a kick out of it when she saw it, and she’d finally realize why Tobin had been in such a grinning mood all day. Even if it was a completely dorky Tobin thing to do, Tobin didn’t care. They weren’t public in their relationship, but they both knew how much these little acts meant to each other. There was nothing that could stop her showing Christen she’d always be her number one supporter.

\----------

Always one to follow through on her promises, the ball sailed off Christen’s foot in the 13th minute, curling around the defender and the goalkeeper to find the back of the net for the Royals.

Tobin pumped her fist in celebration, cupping her hand around her mouth to cheer out for the goal. She watched in amusement as the team piled on Christen, seeing Kelley jump up like a squirrel onto the circle that had formed. As the team made their way back to the half way line, Christen turned her head up to where Tobin was sitting, pointing at her with a wink.

The action made Tobin’s heart soar and she pointed right back at Christen, a huge smile on her face. At the last second Tobin thought she saw Christen actually look at what she was wearing on her head, but the whistle blew and her attention was whipped back to the game.

After a couple more chances at goal that had Tobin on the edge of her seat, Christen’s latest attempt resulted in a corner. Tobin realised this was her moment, as she knew Christen wouldn’t be able to resist sneaking a glance up at where she sat. Sure enough, as she walked over to the corner, Christen looked up to her. Tobin, ready in response, held both thumbs up with a huge grin on her face, the number 23 hat bright and proud on top of her head.

It was the first thing Christen looked at, wanting to know whether she imagined she saw that on Tobin’s head when she scored her goal. As it turned out, her absolute dork of a girlfriend had actually gotten her hands on a number 23 hat and was wearing it proudly in her seat, waving at her like the love struck idiot that she was.

Christen couldn’t keep the smile off her face if she tried.

\----------

Unfortunately for the Royals, the game didn’t end the way they had wanted. Christen always struggled with losses, especially when she knew the team and herself could have done better.

She eventually made her way back into the tunnel, eager to get her socks and shin guards off and start to decompress. Just as she began thinking of the only person who could put a smile on her face, she rounded the corner to see a familiar body leaning against the wall, a hat with 23 etched into it covering the person’s whole face.

“Oh my god, I’m dating an idiot.” Christen said to herself before a smile erupted onto her face and she hugged Tobin tight, burrowing into her neck.

Tobin laughed with ease, pulling the hat back onto her head as she wrapped her arms around Christen, pulling her even tighter into her body.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Christen repeated over and over. “You’re such a dork and I love you.”

“I love you too. I knew it would make you smile when you saw it.”

Christen squeezed her eyes shut, feeling an intense burst of emotion suddenly swarm through her body. To feel Tobin put that much effort into her. She wasn’t surprised, she’d been with Tobin for years now and knew what a hopeless romantic she really was. But it never failed to make her swoon. Thoughtfulness from Tobin always came at the right time, whether her girlfriend planned it that way or not. But for now, all that Christen cared about was being wrapped up in the arms of the one she loved.

“Chris, you okay? You zoned out on me for a second there.” Tobin moved one of her hands from Christen’s back to the top of her head, pulling Christen away from her neck gently. Their eyes met, and Tobin saw the tell-tale glistening in Christen’s eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. A loss is always hard to deal with. But you killed it out there, Chris. That goal was amazing.”

Christen smiled, leaning her head more into Tobin as Tobin’s thumb brushed at the top of her forehead. “No, it’s not that. I mean, of course the loss sucks. I really wanted to win. And we could have played so much better.” Tobin listened with intent, nodding. “I’m not upset. I’m just…I’m so glad to have you here. Seeing you up there, it was…this means so much.”

Tobin laughed as Christen tugged gently at the hat on her head. “It’s just a hat, babe.”

“It’s more. I see it and I know you’ve got me. When I see it from the field it makes me play better. Thank you.”

Everything Tobin wanted to say in response to Christen she put into the kiss she gave her. Arms still wrapped tightly around each other, they kissed until Tobin heard a familiar Scottish yell coming down the corridor.

“Oi, ya Thorn! What do ya think ya doing in here?”

Christen and Tobin separated upon hearing Rachel’s grinning voice, turning around to see her, Amy and Kelley walking down the corridor.

“Ow, ow!” Kelley howled, poking her tongue out at the couple as she ran up to give Tobin a hug. Amy followed closely behind her, hugging Tobin and eyeing the hat in amusement.

“Nice hat. Make it yourself?”

Tobin blushed. “Nah. I left it to the experts at Nike. If I knew how I would have!”

“I don’t doubt it, you lovesick puppy.”

“Don’t be jealous, A-Rod! I’ll get one with your number next time.” Tobin called after her, watching Amy blow her a kiss before she went through the changing room door. She grinned, turning back to Christen and whispering conspiratorially. “I totally won’t.”

Christen laughed more, the weight of the loss of the game already feeling lighter on her soul. She couldn’t wait to go back to her apartment with Tobin and pack for the upcoming national team camp, fully ready to spend another week with her love.

“Wait out here for me? I’m just going to get changed.” She told Tobin, seeing her nod in agreement. “If you’re lucky, I might let you keep my shorts and shirt, to match the hat.”

Tobin smiled, feigning the excitement of a fan but also knowing it was a distinct possibility at any given time that she would end up in Christen’s clothes. “Will you sign them for me as well, Christen? You’re my favorite player.”

In response, Christen stopped outside the changing room doors, sending her trademark wink back in Tobin’s direction that definitely made the brown eyed girl swoon. She watched Christen until the door closed behind her and then leaned back against the wall, sighing in content. She took the hat off her head and rearranged her hair as she stared at it, thumbing across the white 23 with a stupid grin on her face that just wouldn’t quit.

Yeah, the hat was a dork move. But dork moves are why Christen fell for Tobin in the first place. And so long as Tobin could, she’d spend the rest of her life making Christen laugh and smile the way she did tonight all from the hat on her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've already read this one, i hope it was nice to read it again! and if this was your first time reading it, i hope you enjoyed. i will still keep putting out new one-shots as well in this work, but will slowly also bring across my old ones. thank you so much for all of your comments and love for these stories, y'all amaze me continuously. i hope y'all are staying safe and healthy and so are your loved ones. please take care out there.


	5. beyond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this little chapter is based on the song 'beyond' by leon bridges. if you've never listened to it, you should. someone requested a chapter based on this song and it's so beautiful it was easy to write. if you have requests for future one-shots let me know!

It was a soft evening. A quiet one.

All of them had been, recently. But this one especially so.

Christen wouldn’t be surprised if her eyes had permanently morphed into heart shapes from how she gazed at Tobin all day. No matter what she was doing, Christen felt her heart get a little bit fuller, felt herself fall a little bit deeper.

She loved Tobin so much she didn’t know what to do with herself, sometimes.

Loved her so much it was so all encompassing. Overwhelming in the best possible way.

A light drizzle fell from the Portland skies, creating a consistent shower outside their apartment windows. Christen stood by them, watching it happen. Behind her, she could hear Tobin’s soft whistling to the music floating through the speakers as she finished the last of the dishes. The sound made her smile.

It was both white noise and not. So familiar and comforting and so much like home that it blended in, wrapping around Christen wherever she went. It also stuck out to her, the soft melodies of Tobin’s whistles filtering through her ears that made her recognize the song before she’d even heard the lyrics of it.

“You okay, Chris?” Tobin called out and she didn’t even realize she’d completely zoned out until she heard her.

“Yeah.”

“You wanna get that cute butt of yours over here before your tea gets cold?”

Tobin’s smile pulled her in, softly padding across the wooden floor until she reached her in the kitchen. Her hands cupped Tobin’s cheeks, kissing her lips softly, breathing in her scent.

“I love you.”

Tobin hummed against her lips, smiling into the kiss. “I love you, too.” She pulled Christen in tight against her, swaying with the slow rhythm of the new song that was flooding through the speakers. Her hands rubbed circles against her back before resting gently at her waist.

“I know you’re trying to be smooth but there’s no way I wouldn’t know you just used the back of my hoodie to wipe the dish soap suds off your hands.” Christen mumbled into Tobin’s shoulder, rolling her eyes when her fiancée laughed at being caught.

“It’s romantic, Chris. We’re dancing to the song.”

A sweet soul voice had started singing along to the acoustic guitar strums in the song. The gentle beat propelled the couple in their slow sways side to side, slowing everything down in the room even more than it already was, washing over Christen until she had moulded into Tobin’s arms.

The song wasn’t one she’d heard before, but it was beautiful, intimate.

“I love this song.” Tobin murmured softly, her breath brushing against Christen’s cheek.

It made Christen smile, knowing how much thought Tobin put into the art she surrounded herself with, knowing that the songs she’d been hearing all night weren’t there by coincidence, but had touched something in Tobin’s heart at some point, had found themselves worthy enough to be saved and played again.

Everything Tobin did was beautiful. Sometimes Christen couldn’t believe she was hers.

Tobin had started humming along to the song, a peaceful smile settled on her face. Christen started to focus on the lyrics herself.

… _she shines me up like gold on my arms_

_I want to take it slow but it’s so hard_

As she listened on she found herself smiling as well, unable to keep the warm feelings out of her stomach. It wasn’t just that she loved what the song was saying, it was that Tobin had listened to it and thought of her. Had heard something this beautiful, and been reminded of her.

_…I'm scared to death that she might be it_

_That the love is real, that the shoe might fit_

_She might just be my everything and beyond_

As the song went on, it was easy to see how it had happened to Tobin. Christen listened to the song, listened to the lyrics, and felt exactly the same.

She felt the ring sitting on her left hand, the one she looked at most days until a stupid smile came over her face, making her shake her head in wonder at how this was really her life. She’d always dreamt something this good might happen to her, had always moved through the world with the same positive energy she wanted to attract.

Tobin had that positive energy, alright. She’d near knocked her off her feet with it, consuming her mind with her eyes, her smile, her soul. Christen had always dreamed of something good, but she’d never imagined there’d be someone like Tobin.

… _she makes me feel at home_

_Do you think I’m being foolish if I don’t rush in?_

Maybe it’s crazy. But sometimes Christen thinks she would have married Tobin within the first year of them dating. Within the first few months, even. Her love grew for Tobin every day, but it never dulled. It was a constant light source, some days burning bright as a flame, bright enough to light a whole city. Other days it quelled comfortingly inside them, warm like a fireplace in a home.

That was a day like this.

 _“I give up, I'm in love, crying out to you!”_ Tobin sang with the song, taking Christen’s hands in hers and pulling away slightly before pushing back in, swaying their arms around in silly motions, a huge beaming grin on her face as she continued to sing. _“Oh me oh my I can’t explain, she might just be my everything. Oh me oh my I can’t explain, she might just be my everything.”_

The happiness bubbled right up from Christen’s toes, pushing up out her chest as she laughed at Tobin’s actions, letting herself be lead around the kitchen by her. Tobin spun her around and around until she got so dizzy she caught her in her arms, bringing her back into her embrace and holding her tight, swaying them side to side again.

Tobin kissed her temple as the song played on, one of her hands holding the back of her head. It was so soft and intimate it made tears glisten in her eyes, letting Tobin overwhelm her in the best possible way.

_…Space and time in the afterlife_

_Will she have my kids? Will she be my wife?_

_She might just be my everything and beyond_

Christen couldn’t help it, pouring the love she felt into the kiss she put on Tobin’s lips, wrapping her arms around the back of her neck. She felt Tobin scoop an arm under the back of her thighs, gently depositing her on the kitchen bench, and she just held her closer, letting the feelings envelope her, letting the song play out in the background.

It was right, Tobin was her everything. And Christen had found someone that looked at her and saw the same. She swore she would never let her go, not for anything.

“ _She might just be mine, be mine.”_ Tobin sang ever so softly against her lips, closing out the song, giving her butterflies.

“I always was, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to all of y'all once again for all of the love and comments you leave. i can't tell you how much they mean to me, especially in these times. essential workers, keep going strong, we're in this together. everyone else i hope you're doing your just as important job of staying home. it's a very stressful time but it's so nice to see how communities band together to keep everyone happy. y'all feel like my community on here, too.
> 
> (p.s, again - gold love will be updated tomorrow!!!!) keep on keeping on, everyone.


	6. under the lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is another of my old ones i've moved over to here. i wrote it after ncc beat portland 6-0 in 2019 and there was a heartbreaking photo of tobin sitting on the field by herself. so basically i wrote it for comfort to cheer myself up haha.

_“Chris…I –”_

_“I know, baby.”_

6-0.

The longer Tobin sat on the field, the more it felt like a dream. Like it wasn’t real. Like someone was going to walk out of the tunnel and tell her the game was starting properly now, that the practice run was over.

6-0.

She felt her arms straining in the grass as she leant the weight of her body back on them. The toll the game took on her body was hitting full force. Her arms were shaking slightly, yet she stayed where she was, clenching her fingers into fists.

Six fucking nil.

The numbers blared on the big screen, taunting her. She watched the supporters file out of the stands until only a scarce few remained. She heard fans waiting for autographs but she just couldn’t get up. In the corner of her eye the entire time were those numbers on the screen, reminding her of her failure.

_“I don’t really know how to explain it.”_

_“Then you don’t. That’s ok, Tobin. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”_

It was a trouncing – probably the worst in Tobin’s recent memory. It was a trouncing at home; and what’s worse, it was a trouncing from North Carolina, of all teams.

There wasn’t much movement in the stands now. Tobin’s eyes locked on to the last person she could see as they disappeared down the stairs of the stands, a rainbow colored flag draped over their back.

On any other day it would have made her smile. 

Instead, she finally gave her arms reprieve, letting them collapse until she felt her back and head hit the grass softly. 

_“I’ve never heard a 16,000 person crowd be so quiet.”_

_“Losses at home sometimes feel like a cruel kind of hurt, huh.”_

_“…Yeah. That’s exactly what this feels like.”_

At least with her back on the ground, her eyes stared up at the dark sky instead of having to see those taunting score sheet numbers. 

The lack of something to look at made her brain occupy the free space with running over every play she was part of tonight, even the ones she felt like she should have been a part of. The voice at the back of her mind was telling her this was counterproductive, but that voice was quickly drowned out as the memory of another goal flashed through Tobin’s mind, watching the ball sink into the back of their net. 

6-0.

How does that even happen?

_“I’m so angry and annoyed. Mostly I just feel sad.”_

_“I’m sorry, baby. I wish I could take the hurt from you. Tell me how I can help.”_

_"You do already, Chris. You always do.”_

Tobin can feel the memories of the game start to overwhelm her. She needs to ground herself. She needs to try to pull herself together.

She flattens her legs out, feeling the prickly grass tickle the skin at the back of her shins where her socks end. She lays her arms out, palms facing down.

What was it Christen always said?

Right. Choose one part of your body. Any part.

“It could even be your teeny tiny pinky finger.” Tobin hears in her head, remembering Christen’s cooing voice from months back when she was explaining the meditation technique to her. She had curled her own pinky finger around Tobin’s and brought it up to her mouth to place a gentle kiss on the top of it before gently lowering it back to the ground. 

Tobin wasn’t sure if the mediation technique was working, or whether the thought of Christen pulled at her so strongly to the point where she wanted nothing more than to be in her arms. But as soon as she blocked out the game from her mind and focused her thoughts on the way her pinky fingers felt as they dug into the ground below them, tears leaked out of her eyes so fast it almost shocked her.

She kept going, concentrating on the pad of each finger pressing down into the ground before laying her palms flat and curling them into fists before curling them out again.

She had to repeat the motion with her hands a few times over before she could bear the thought of doing it with her feet, the one part of her body where she rarely felt failed by.

_“It helped. It made me more upset, but it helped.”_

_“I’m proud of you, Tobs. I know it’s not easy to face what we’re feeling when it’s still so raw.”_

It was only after she had felt each part of her body press into the ground, had squeezed each muscle, that she realized she still had her cleats, socks and shin guards on. She sat up and was half way through peeling off her socks when she saw a figure approach out of the corner of her eye.

The apprehensive nature of the security guard’s walk made her fully come back to the present in the park. She wondered how long she had been laying there for. As she looked around the stands, not even the cleaners remained. The screens had turned off. It was almost peacefully quiet.

“Hey, man.” She frowned for a second at the way her voice cracked on the words, clearing her throat before trying to offer the familiar security guard a half-hearted smile.

His smile in return told her that her being upset was the least he expected – mostly due to the score line he had witnessed – but also because this was the latest he had ever seen anyone stay.

“You know I’d let you stay here all night if I could. But things are starting to shut down soon. Just wanted to give you a heads up.”

A more genuine smile appeared on Tobin’s face at the kindness of the man as she kicked off her boots, pulling at the socks around her ankles. She thanked him and a few minutes later followed in the same direction he had walked, finally re-entering the tunnel and making her way to the changing room.

_“It must be late there, Chris. I don’t want to keep you up.”_

_“You’re not. I’m here with you, ok? Always.”_

Checking her phone was never the first priority for Tobin after a game. In fact, it usually stayed buried in her bag until well after she got home. 

Then again, they didn’t usually lose 6-0.

Her screen lit up as she looked at her phone, her eyes going on auto pilot to scan through the messages and missed calls to see the one she knew would be there from the one she loved the most.

**Christen Press** 9:30pm

_Here whenever you need X_

Tobin swiped through to the message and hit call on her contact and before she could process the first few rings Christen had answered with a gentle _“Hi, my love.”_

She all but fell apart on the changing room bench. 

_“Chris…I –”_

_“I know, baby.”_

\----------

Christen’s reassurance that despite the time in Texas she was going to stay with her on the phone seemed to calm Tobin down. She listened to Christen’s even breathing on the other end of the line to try and match her own.

_“Where are you right now?”_

_“In the changing room.”_

_“Is anyone else still there?”_

_“No, it’s just me. And probably the security guard who’s waiting for me to go home so he can start locking the place up.”_

Tobin listened to Christen let out a small laugh at that.

_“I think home sounds like a good idea, Tobs.”_

_“Yeah.”_ Tobin agreed, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to be in the comfort of their home. _“I wish – ”_

Christen cut her off, knowing what she was going to say. Tobin knew it was because Christen could never stand to hear her wish she was there when she needed comfort. She was the same. _“I know, baby. I really do too.”_

With the promise of Christen staying on the line, Tobin managed to absently pick up her belongings and make it to her car, putting the phone on speaker and both hands on the wheel as she let out another long sigh. 

_“If you turn on the radio I’ll be able to serenade you on your drive home.”_

Tobin let out a full belly laugh at Christen’s statement, the kind that is so full of feeling that it turns into tears before you know it.

_“Hey, you can’t start crying yet. You’re supposed to wait until you hear my bad singing to do that.”_ Tobin let out a sob as Christen spoke, trying to contain her emotions.

_“I know, how rude of me.”_ She wore a watery smile. Her head lay against her forearms on the steering wheel and she took in a deep breath in the momentary silence.

_“Talk to me, Tobin.”_

_“This game was like a punch to the guts. It’s not that I necessarily expected an easy win. But 6-0?”_

_“It looked more than frustrating."_

_“It was. But it felt like nothing I was doing was working.”_

_“You put your everything into that game. You couldn’t have done more to change the score unless you moved yourself into the back line.”_

_“Maybe I should have.”_

_“Baby, don’t blame yourself for something the whole team has to shoulder together. It’s not fair to you.”_

Tobin was quiet for a moment, knowing Christen was right.

_“I just hated the feeling of being out of control of the game. The goals kept coming and it was just chaos and I actually pinched myself at one point to see if it was all a joke. We’re not a team that loses 6-0."_

_“I know you’re not. And you all know you’re not. But that doesn’t mean you’re never going to have a bad game.”_

_“Calling this a bad game is about the nicest way you could put it, Chris.”_

_“Would it make you feel better if I called it a colossal fuck up?”_

A harsh chuckle made its way out of Tobin’s mouth. She finally lifted her head off her forearms and turned the key in the car on.

_“Well, that’s the truth. But no, it wouldn’t make me feel better.”_

Tobin could hear Christen’s knowing smile through the phone when she heard Tobin basically say that she was right. 

_“Bad game it is, then.”_

\---------- 

Tobin had gone through the motions when she got home, leaving her gear by the door for a later date and stripping off her kit to get in the shower. With a loss like this under any other circumstances, Tobin probably would have stayed under the water until her skin pruned over. But Christen was still there for her on the phone, when she got out. The soothe of the hot water on her skin didn’t hold a flame to the comfort her entire being found with every word that Christen spoke.

_“You know it’s completely valid to be cut about this game.”_

Tobin listened to Christen speak as she stood in the kitchen, the streetlights from outside the window luminating the space. She took another bite of the sandwich Christen had convinced her to eat, as she nodded, before she remembered Christen couldn’t see her.

_“I know.”_

_“It doesn’t have to be a final for it to still hurt.”_

_“I know.”_

_“And we can wallow now because we need to let ourselves be sad.”_

_“But tomorrow we learn from this and it’s onwards and upwards.”_ Tobin finished for Christen, knowing the sentiment of the speech as they had both given it to each other in various forms countless times over the last few years. 

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too, baby.”_ Tobin put her plate in the sink, making her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Just before she put the toothbrush in her mouth, she realized how one sided the conversation had been. It was probably for good measure. But she wanted to make sure Christen knew she was thinking of her, too. _“Did you have a good evening?”_

Tobin hoped there would never be a time where the sound of Christen’s voice didn’t bring her an overwhelming sense of home. She had spent countless hours getting lost in the sound of her words and the melody of her laugh. Christen could be reading the phone book and Tobin would still be enamored.

_“And that’s why if Kelley ever asks you to go with her to a Texas BBQ restaurant you should say no.”_

Tobin laughed into the Stanford hoodie she pulled over her head, feeling some familiarity at a story which ended with Christen and Becky being exasperated with Kelley. She flicked off the bedroom lights and slid under the covers on the bed. The softness beneath her made her groan in relief.

Christen must have sensed she was finally in bed because she gave her a few moments of silence before speaking again.

_“How are you feeling now, my love?”_

Her voice was no more than a soft murmur but Tobin could feel the concern and comfort from her girlfriend as if she was right in front of her. It made her heart ache. _“Better.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah. I’m maybe feeling like someone who only lost 4-0 as opposed to 6-0.”_

Tobin’s small grin grew a little bigger when Christen laughed at her bad joke. She kept the grip of the phone in her hand tight as she pulled Christen’s pillow into her, breathing in deeply. 

_“Oh 4-0? That’s not even bad game territory anymore. That’s like a mediocre game.”_

_“There’s not an ounce in your body that believes that’s true and you know it.”_ Tobin’s grin remained as she spoke, knowing Christen was just trying to make her feel better with the bad joke of her own. The two lay in silence for a few more minutes, before a yawn escaped Tobin.

_“Time to get some sleep.”_

_“You too, ok? It must be really late in Houston now.”_

_“I know. I will.”_

_“I’ll be dreaming of you, baby.”_

Tobin could hear the blush in Christen’s reply, even after all these years. _“Me too, Tobs. Always.”_

_“I love you. Thank you for tonight. When I feel myself floating away I think of you and you’re the grounding that brings me back.”_

_“Don’t need to thank me. I love you so much.”_

_“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”_ Tobin murmured with her eyes shut, already feeling sleep taking over her as she heard Christen yawn on the other end of the line before replying.

_“You’ll never have to find out.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it whether you had read it before or not! i'm doing my best with writing atm but it's coming pretty slowly! but still, we're keeping on. hope everyone is staying safe and sane and healthy and as happy as can be right now. look after yourselves and your loved ones! thanks so much for reading


	7. fort blanket

If Tobin had to describe Christen, she’d call her one with nature.

Christen was someone who thrived in the outdoors. She walked with her bare feet in the grass. She lifted her face towards the sun and basked in its light. She held her arms out as the wind blew past her.

Tobin could see how being inside so much was starting to get to her.

It was the right thing to do, of course. They only went outside if they really had to. Tobin would see the frustration rise in her fiancée when she saw people still gathering, she felt it herself. They knew without a doubt what their responsibility was. They impressed each other by ways they managed to work while staying home.

Every day Christen would open all of the curtains, letting the natural light shine through the glass. When it wasn’t too cold the windows would get opened as well. They ate on the balcony as much as they could, reading out there, writing, working. They could still see the sky, still see the grass. Most days, it was enough to keep them sane.

They were only human, though. Christen could meditate all she wanted but there were some days where she stood still, gazing out to the view and Tobin knew she was wishing she could push pause on this whole thing, get out of their apartment, go somewhere new.

She couldn’t give Christen anything out of the apartment. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t take her somewhere new in the apartment. 

The idea ticked into her brain in the mid-morning. It started formulating into an actual plan after lunch. And in the late afternoon, when Christen was in the spare bedroom doing a virtual training with the Royals, Tobin set it in motion.

She opened all the cupboards, pulling out every blanket, sheet and pillow she could find. She rearranged the furniture and – _fuck –_ that couch was heavy to move. Childhood memories were called upon as she threw sheets over chairs, clipping blankets together, layering the floor with everything soft she could find. She dug around for fairy lights she knew were somewhere, taping them around the make shift ceiling.

A giddy smile was on her face by the time she finished, laying on her back and feeling instantly cozy in her surroundings. She let herself relax and close her eyes momentarily before she heard Christen get in the shower. Jumping up, she pulled out a little piece of cardboard, picking up a pen and getting to work.

“What’s this?”

Tobin’s smile came back when she saw Christen walk out into the living room later, dressed perfectly in sweats. Her eyes were on Tobin’s contraption, only briefly glancing up to her fiancée before taking a step closer.

“Whoa.” Tobin said, taking a few hurried steps to get in front of her. “I’m sorry, Miss, do you have a ticket?”

“A ticket?”

“Yes.” Tobin’s grin was out in full force. “For the movie.”

Christen could barely contain her laugh at how wide Tobin was smiling. “I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“Ah, that’s too bad.” Tobin shrugged before getting a mischievous glint in her eyes. She leant in an exaggerated fashion to the left and the right, as if checking that no one else was listening in. “We do have a special, tonight.”

Christen was really marrying a whole ass dork. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Tobin nodded, trying to keep a straight face. “You just have to be the love of my life. Lucky for you.”

Christen thought she’d keep wanting to laugh, but instead Tobin’s words just made her heart melt. Her eyes softened, a small smile resting on her face as she looked to what Tobin just pulled out of her pocket.

“And it’s free?”

“Well,” Tobin handed over the piece of cardboard. “There is a tiny cost.”

The hand drawn movie ticket sat delicately in Christen’s fingers as she looked at what Tobin had created, her smile growing bigger by the second.

______________________________

**_tonight’s showing_ :**

PADDINGTON 

**_time_ :** 7pm   
**_seat_ :** my arms   
**_price_ :** one kiss   


**_reserved for_ : **

the cutie with a smile like 

sunshine 

______________________________

“Tobin…” Christen was lost for words. The love she had for her knocked her off her feet, once again. She didn’t know how it was that Tobin always managed to surprise her, always managed to catch her off guard, always managed to make her love her more than she thought was possible. She didn’t even know what to say.

“So, Miss, do you think you’ll be able to pay?”

The laughter burst out of Christen, all joyous and watery as her eyes glistened with happy and overwhelmed tears. She threw her arms around Tobin’s neck, pressing their lips together and paying for her ticket about 10 times over.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” She whispered into the crook of Tobin’s neck, feeling her pull her closer in the hug. “You’re the most amazing person I know.”

“Keep this flattery going and you’ll get free movie snacks as well.” Tobin grinned, kissing the top of her head. “I love you, Chris. So much. I know being stuck inside is hard. We’re looking at the same four walls every day. So I thought we could look at new four walls, tonight.”

Christen gasped as Tobin lifted up the entrance sheet, seeing the cozy little fort Tobin had created for them. The fairy lights strung around the sides emitted a warm glow that Christen wanted to wrap herself in forever. She couldn’t wait to get in there and never leave.

“Dinner first. Then we’ll watch the movie, okay?”

Christen nodded, securing the home made movie ticket to the fridge with a magnet and smiling at it for another minute more. “Okay.”

\---

“This is perfect.”

Tobin saw Christen looking up at her wearing a peaceful smile. The opening credits of the movie played on the laptop a few feet in front of them, their little four-walled fort blocking out the rest of the apartment evening, the soft glow from the lights illuminating their faces.

“I’m glad.” Tobin wrapped her arms around Christen from where her fiancée sat in front of her, Christen’s head leaning back to rest at the top of her chest. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Thank you for this. It means so much.”

“Of course. I said to you we’d always have adventures together, right? These inside adventures will just be a little different.”

Christen smiled, intertwining their hands and putting little kisses on each of Tobin’s knuckles. “I love these ones the most.”

Tobin loved every evening with Christen. But this one was the best they’d had in a long time. They laughed with the movie, surrounded by blankets, pillows cushioning their every side. It barely took half a suggestion before Christen was agreeing with Tobin, the two of them cuddling in close, sleeping there the night.

The fort became a safe place inside their safe place. That next week they basically lived in it, whispering secrets to each other, kissing declarations of love into each other’s bodies.

It held them through Mario Kart tournaments in their underwear. It protected them when they finally finished the third season of Stranger Things, Tobin hiding her face in Christen’s shoulder. It lit up with the flashes of lightning shining through the glass windows, their eyes peeking through the top sheet where they watched it.

It made their intimate moments even more so, soft bodies brushing together in the little cocoon as they made love.

“You know, when this all blows over and we have visitors coming back to the apartment again, we’ll have to take this down.”

Christen shook her head no adamantly, making Tobin laugh from where she lay against her. “Nope. This is here for good.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll build you another one. Whenever you want it.” Tobin kissed her shoulder softly. “We have years of adventures in forts like this ahead of us.”

“And one day maybe with a few little people cuddled beside us, too?”

Tobin’s smile was as big as it had ever been. “Yeah. Little babies with green eyes and wild, beautiful hair.”

Christen’s eyes glistened, both of them imagining their futures together with unbridled excitement. “Those will be my favorite adventures yet.”

Tobin felt herself be pulled closer and she rested her head onto Christen’s chest, feeling the familiar thud of her heart beat and letting it lull her eyes shut.

The fairy lights glowed softly, the blankets sitting warmly around them. Their love flowed throughout the four soft sheeted walls. As long as long as they were together, everything was okay.

Maybe staying inside wasn’t so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick and short chapter i didn't anticipate writing but here it is! some comfort for all y'all staying home right now. go build a blanket fort, it's the best, i promise. take care of yourselves and others


	8. baby (just make out with me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another of my old ones I've moved across to here. I wrote this late in the 2019 season when utah had an away game v washington spirit. based on the song 'make out with me' by maren morris that gave me soft preath vibes. it's a great listen!

_I got a phone that won't die_

_You're up in the air, landing tonight_

_So I'll leave a message for ya, get it when you touch down_

_If I'm bein' honest, I'm a little drunk now_

“Fucking rain delays.” Tobin mumbled to herself, rolling over in the bed that felt lonely, more so tonight than ever before. She glared at the red lights shining 3:18am in the dark, as if they had personally caused this inconvenience to her.

She knew that the rain had nothing to do with Christen not being there with her right now, she was always going to fly out at 5am the next day. But the delay had thrown off Tobin, and she knew it had thrown off Christen and her team too.

Tobin was in a weird state of being a little buzzed from the few extra beers she had consumed waiting for the game to start, and being tired but unable to fall asleep waiting in anticipation for her girlfriend to get home.

_I got a bed that's too big without ya_

_I got a heart that don't beat without ya_

_Get so jealous when you ain't by my side_

_I know it's selfish, but I need you tonight_

She rolled onto her back, kicking the sheets off her leg, reaching out blindly for her phone. The harsh light made her squint in the dark as she unlocked it, the messages app showing up on the screen. She knew Christen was almost 20 minutes into her flight, and there was no feasible way she could actually text her.

It didn’t stop her from re-reading their last conversation over and over with a stupid tired smile on her face.

**Christen Press** 12:28am

_Thanks again for the wake-up call, baby. I’m in the uber to the airport now_

**Tobin Heath** 12:31am

_Cutting it a bit fine, Chris? I think my airport habits have become a bad influence on you_

**Christen Press** 12:32am

_Tobs, there’s still like an hour and a half until my flight leaves_

**Tobin Heath** 12:32am

_I thought standard Press protocol was to be at the airport 3 hours before any flight leaves with no exceptions_

**Christen Press** 12:35am

_I would think of a witty response but I’m too tired_

**Tobin Heath** 12:38am

_I bet :( you didn’t have to catch the earliest flight out, baby, especially after they delayed your game over an hour. you could have slept more and come later_

**Christen Press** 12:40am

_No rest for the wicked. I miss you too much to stay here any longer_

**Tobin Heath** 12:41am

_I miss you so much too_

**Tobin Heath** 12:41am

_I want you to take care of yourself but I’m also selfishly glad you are coming on the earliest flight out_

**Christen Press** 12:45am

_The self-care will come when I get home and we don’t leave the bed for the entire weekend_

**Christen Press** 12:45am

_Take your pick as to what not leaving the bed means_

**Tobin Heath** 12:47am

_Babe, as long as I have you back here with me, I don’t care what it means. Naps, sex, I’ll take anything as long as it’s with you_

**Christen Press** 12:47am

_You’re so cute_

**Tobin Heath** 12:49am

_We can order from the French fry place down the road and eat them in bed all day, too_

**Christen Press** 12:53am

_Baby, don’t excite me with dirty talk like that, I’m in public_

**Christen Press** 12:55am

_Just going through security X_

**Tobin Heath** 1:15am

_Your pillow here still smells like you_

**Christen Press** 1:25am

_I can’t wait to kiss you_

**Christen Press** 1:26am

_Also, Tobs, go to sleep. It’s late there_

**Tobin Heath** 1:29am

_Hate sleeping without you_

**Christen Press** 1:30am

_I know. me too_

**Christen Press** 1:33am

_But for the next two weeks, you’re all mine_

**Tobin Heath** 1:35am

_French fries in bed every day?_

**Christen Press** 1:37am

_If we do we’ll die at Dawn’s hand_

**Tobin** **Heath** 1:41am

_It’ll be worth it_

**Christen Press** 1:45am

_That’s why you’re my love_

**Christen Press** 1:46am

_I have to turn my phone on airplane mode soon_

**Christen Press** 1:46am

_And you really should go to sleep, baby_

**Tobin Heath** 1:47am

_I know_

**Christen Press** 1:47am

_I’ll be there when you wake up_

**Tobin Heath** 1:49am

_I love you, fly safe baby_

**Christen Press** 1:50am

_I love you too X_

_So text when you touch down, straight to my place now_

_These nights without you be so hard to sleep_

Tobin let her phone drop onto her chest as she looked to the ceiling, the smile still on her face. She remembered Christen all but forbidding her to come and pick her up from the airport, saying it would be too early (which 8am totally wasn’t).

When she prodded Christen on the phone more, she eventually caved and revealed she loved coming back to the apartment early when Tobin was still asleep so she could see her cute sleepy-confused face when she woke up and realised she was there with her. 

She was so in love.

Her fingers moved before her brain realised what she was doing, and she pressed the call button next to Christen’s name on her phone. Her goofy smile stayed on her face when she heard her girlfriend’s smiling voicemail on the other end, and she almost forgot to start speaking when the tone beeped, too lost in her thoughts.

“Hey, baby.” Tobin murmured, not wanting to cut into the silence of the night. “I know you’re flying right now. And I know we were texting two hours ago. And I know if you could you’d be telling me I should be asleep. But it’s like my body knows you’re going to be in my arms soon. I can’t shake it. The bed feels extra lonely tonight. I’ve missed you so much it hurts. And it’s only been what, a week? When you get here I’m never letting go. I hope you’re having a good flight. Stay safe for me. I love you so much. And yes, I promise I’m going to sleep now. See you soon, Chris.” 

Tobin stared at Christen’s face on her lockscreen until it went blank. She put her phone down beside her and rolled over, squashing her face into Christen’s pillow with her eyes contentedly shut for the first time that night.

As if her body was finally satisfied with the knowledge that she had talked to Christen in some small way and would get to see her soon, sleep overcame her.

_Come put your things down, I'll order take out_

_No more to say now, baby, just make out with me_

_Baby, just make out with me_

“Hm?”

Tobin’s ears registered some small noise happening in her room but her brain hadn’t quite woken up to the rest of her body yet. The noise that came out of her mouth just before was meant to be a word, at least she thought, but instead of trying to say something again she cracked her eyes open, lifting her head up the smallest amount to see what was going on.

“There’s those beautiful eyes.”

Tobin could just make out Christen standing at the foot of the bed, putting the last of her bags on the floor. “Chris?”

“Yeah, baby, it’s me.”

“C’mere.” Tobin murmured, still half asleep. She weakly held her arms out for Christen who let out a small laugh at the tired display.

“I’m here.” Christen whispered, crawling into the bed next to where Tobin was, feeling Tobin’s arms wrap around her and pull her close.

As soon as they touched, both women let out a sigh of content they didn’t know they had been holding in all week.

The stillness of the early morning lay enveloped them, letting them just be. Christen felt herself being pulled in even closer, and Tobin buried her head into the crook of her neck, placing a tired kiss there.

“You feel like home.”

Christen’s heart clenched at Tobin’s sleepy mumble, falling in love with her all over again. She pulled her head back, and waited for Tobin to look up at her in the gentle morning light sneaking in under the curtains. Their lips drifted together unconsciously, reuniting in a soft, early morning fashion. Christen moved her hand to the back of Tobin’s neck, curling around the soft baby hairs there as she held her close.

“I love you.”

Tobin smiled softly at Christen, feeling blissful in a state between being asleep and awake. She pressed her lips to Christen’s again when she heard the sentiment being returned, before laying both of their heads down onto the same pillow. She closed her eyes with the vision of Christen’s face in her mind, feeling both of their breaths even out instantly as they fell into sleep again.

_You got a kiss I still taste_

_And I feel your lips from miles away_

_I got one more minute of this message to burn_

_I hope you get it 'cause I mean every word_

When Tobin woke up, she could tell the time had drifted close to midday. Christen was still asleep in her arms, one of her fists curled into her shirt. Tobin gently unclasped it as she slipped out of the bed, going to the bathroom before walking back into the bedroom.

In her absence, Christen had pulled the pillow where Tobin’s head rested closer to her, nuzzling it in her sleep. The sunlight creeping into the room under the curtains shone streaks onto Christen’s skin, making her bare legs shine.

Tobin’s eyes drank in the woman she had missed with every fibre of her being, and she unconsciously touched her lips, remembering the feeling of Christen’s finally back on her own.

As she was crawling back into bed, Christen woke up at the movement, pulling Tobin into her.

“What’s time?” She barely mumbled out, her voice thick with sleep and her eyes still closed.

Tobin let Christen rest her head on her shoulder, burrowing into her. She leaned down and pressed her lips onto her forehead, her smile feeling permanently etched onto her face at this point.

“I think around 12.”

Christen let out a murmur of approval. They lay in silence for a few minutes before Christen turned to lay on Tobin more, her hand finding a home at the back of her neck again. “I got your message.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I listened to it over and over from when the plane landed until I got here.”

Tobin pressed another kiss to Christen’s forehead. “You’re so cute.”

“It’s definitely going in my saved messages. Right along with the others, my current favorite being your drunken one the night of the final when you couldn’t find me for a minute.”

Tobin laughed gently at the memory and felt Christen place a kiss to the underside of her jaw. She looked down at her and saw Christen staring back, her eyes finally open with a soft gaze.

“I’d leave you a message every day, every hour, if that’s what made you happy.”

Christen’s heart clenched with love again. “I’d much rather be here with you, where I can do this.” She pressed her lips to Tobin’s, sharing a lazy kiss with no urgency. After a few minutes she gently tugged at Tobin’s bottom lip with her teeth, making her pull her closer. Her tongue ran ever so slightly along Tobin’s lips, feeling them part for her. Her whole body melted into Tobin’s embrace as she sighed contentedly into the kiss.

Tobin was right, it felt like home. 

_So text when you touch down, straight to my place now_

_These nights without you be so hard to sleep_

_Come put your things down, I'll order take out_

_No more to say now, baby, just make out with me_

“You weren’t kidding about ordering enough French fries for the day."

Tobin raised her eyebrow at Christen as she crawled back into bed, the take out boxes in her arms. “Sorry, did the self-professed number one fan of French fries really just say that?”

A lazy grin formed on Christen’s face as she held her hands out for the boxes in Tobin’s arms. She pulled herself up into a sitting position and opened a box, groaning in delight at the smell it produced. “Second best thing to touch my lips since I got home.” She said, winking at Tobin as she ate the fries happily.

“If you’re lucky later it’ll be the third best thing to touch your lips.”

Christen coughed around a chip as she swallowed it in haste to let out a laugh at Tobin’s cheeky words. She kept eating before turning back to her girlfriend. “I don’t know, baby. It’s no mean feat to separate my attention from French fries once they’re in my grasp.”

“I’m sure I’ll have fun trying.” Tobin said, stealing a fry from Christen’s box even though she had her own in front of her. She shot Christen a bright grin as she ate it, her eyes twinkling in the afternoon light. 

Christen couldn’t help herself. She dropped the box onto the bed in front of her, cupping Tobin’s face in her hands and brushing some salt off her lips with her thumb. “On second thought, I have a feeling today I won’t be that hard to convince.” 

_Baby, just make out with me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again y'all have been so kind with all the love and comments to my stories, i can't say thank you enough. i hope reading this put a smile on your face whether you've read it before or not! keep staying safe and strong out there, whether you're working or staying home. so much love for y'all, truly.
> 
> p.s. new gold love tomorrow!!!!


	9. skater

“So if we just get rid of these shoe boxes, we should clear out quite a bit of space in this closet.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

Christen laughed at the betrayed look on Tobin’s face, holding one of Tobin’s many precious shoe boxes in her hands. “I’m just teasing, baby. You know I’d never throw your children away.”

Tobin rolled her eyes, a grin appearing on her face despite her efforts. She kissed Christen quickly, moving around the piles of ‘keep’ and ‘give away’ items they’d cleared from the closet that day as part of the apartment deep clean they were doing.

There weren’t many things left in there, but when Tobin poked her head inside, something caught her eye.

“Oh, no way! I forgot this was here.”

“What is it?”

“My penny board!”

“Your what?”

“My penny board.” Tobin repeated, pulling out a little purple plastic skate board with orange wheels.

“Is that a kids toy or something?”

“Again, I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Tobin searched for a hint that Christen was teasing her for a second time, but she soon realized she wasn’t. “You’ve never heard of penny boards?”

“I must have missed the memo on them all those hours I spent at the skate park.”

“You’re funny, you should go into stand up, you know?”

Christen just laughed at her fiancé as she winked at her. “Please, Tobin, expand my horizons. What is a penny board?”

“Well,” Tobin grinned excitedly, jumping up and moving to their door way, putting the board on the ground in front of her. “They were made to be modelled on early versions of plastic skate boards. They’re really small but sturdy. They’re super fun to ride. And,” She continued, skating the few feet that their small apartment space would let her before turning around and skating back to Christen. “They’re great to learn on. You want to try?”

“Do I want to learn how to skate?”

“Yeah! Why not? We’ve got the time, you get to learn a new skill, _and_ you’ve got a super cute instructor to show you how.”

“I do? When does she get here?” Christen burst out laughing at the look on Tobin’s face, standing up and kissing the betrayal away a few times over. She hugged her, burying her face in content at the familiar comforting smell of her fiancé before pulling away. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, asshole.” Tobin grinned easily, kissing her nose. “So, what do you say?”

Tobin was right, they did have the time right now. And Christen knew how much Tobin loved to skate. There was no good reason to say no.

“Sure. How difficult can it be?”

\---

“Do _not_ let go of my hands.”

“Chris, it’s okay. I promise I won’t let go.”

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing, baby.”

“I can hear it in your voice!”

Tobin had to bite her bottom lip to keep the laughter from spilling out, knowing that Christen was right, she was seconds away from bursting into hysterics. She didn’t know how funny it would be to teach Christen how to skate.

It’s not that Christen was bad – skating was very hard to pick up quickly.

It’s not that Tobin _wanted_ to laugh at her fiancé.

It’s just that Christen was determined in everything she did to give it her best shot. She had the world’s cutest face of concentration on, and she was staring unwaveringly at the ground where her feet were resting on the board –

\- but she was the human version of bambi on it. She couldn’t for the life of her balance and move without wobbling and almost falling off, hence Tobin holding her hands tightly.

“You ready to go again?” Tobin asked her, both of them standing at one end of the door.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’m right here with you. Just push off, and put your back leg on the end.”

“Right.” Christen said, gripping Tobin’s hands. She planted her right foot on the board, kicking off with her left foot, letting it find the back.

“That’s great! Now brace your legs a tiny bit, keep it steady.” Tobin couldn’t stop smiling at how cute Christen was. They got to the end of the wooden floored space in their apartment, having to turn back. “Okay, so just pick your back leg off, and – _careful!”_

Christen had misjudged the balancing of weight that would need to take place when she lifted one foot off the board and had almost fallen over, the board flying out from under her feet and her falling into Tobin’s ready arms.

“Are you okay, baby?”

Christen just stayed with her face buried in Tobin’s hoodie, her heart racing from the adrenaline rush. Tobin was about to check on her properly given she hadn’t actually answered her but then she felt her body moving, the laughter pouring out of her.

“I am so bad at this.” Christen’s words were muffled, but Tobin laughed along with her.

“You do yoga, shouldn’t your balance be better?”

“You’re such an ass.” Christen grinned but snuggled in her closer. “I just don’t have the vibe of a skater.”

“It’s nothing you can’t learn. Lucky we have the time to practice.”

\---

It was like Christen was in a stare out match with the floor.

“You can do it, baby. Just a few feet. I’ll catch you if you fall.” Tobin gently encouraged her, standing a few feet away. After a solid bit of practice she wanted to graduate her to skating by herself.

Clearly, Christen wasn’t so sure.

“You can’t just walk beside me?”

“I can if you really want me to. But I know you can do this.” Tobin’s voice took on a lighter tone. “And I know there’s a reward waiting for you when you get here.”

An amused look crossed Christen’s face. “Will it be worth it?”

\---

“My kisses are always worth it.” Tobin murmured later into Christen’s lips as she picked her up in celebration, having skated successfully on her own for the first time.

\---

“You are the biggest dork I know.” Christen couldn’t stop smiling as she looked at the excited beam on Tobin’s face, her fiancé bouncing up and down in the lift in anticipation. Tobin held a regular skate board in her hands, Christen held the penny board she’d been practicing on all week.

They were taking it to the streets.

Well, the back street attached to their apartment complex that had been devoid of people all week.

Tobin insisted their apartment was just too small to properly test out Christen’s new found skills. Christen was convinced Tobin just needed to skate out the excitement that had built up in her over the last few days at discovering her love for the board again.

As soon as they saw the pavement Tobin’s board was on the ground, the woman skating up and down, weaving in and out in circles, arms flying out by her sides. She looked happy and free. Christen would be satisfied to just sit on her board on the ground and stare at her.

Not on Tobin’s watch.

“It’s fun, Chris! Get the wind in your hair.” Tobin grinned as she skated past, flicking her hair out.

It was a nice day out, Christen had to admit. The hottest in Portland in recent times, definitely. She’d worn a hoodie out of habit, but she almost didn’t need to.

“Okay. I’ll skate for a bit.” Christen precariously placed the penny board on the ground, kicking off gently the way Tobin had shown her. She had gotten better, she would say, skating for a stretch of the pavement before turning back and doing it again.

Before she could think that skating outdoors was going well for her, there was a dip in the pavement that threw off her balance so much she barely managed to catch herself before she tumbled.

She could hear the grin in Tobin’s voice without seeing it.

“You okay?”

“Yes.” Christen turned around, sure enough seeing the corners of Tobin’s mouth quirked up in amusement. “I didn’t fall over.”

“I know.” Tobin skated over to her, kissing her sweetly. “You’re doing great. And you look super cute today.”

“Okay, sweet talker. Keep showing off. I’ll just ride in my lines over here.”

It was quite fun, after a while. Christen was getting more confident with each run, not yet trusting herself to turn around on the board but getting some good speeds going straight. The sun was shining blissfully down on them, and it had actually gotten to be a bit hot. Before she started to sweat, she decided to take her hoodie off, lifting her arms up and pulling the material over her head.

“Oh, shit!”

The sound of Tobin yelling out made Christen yank the material off her faster, looking around to see Tobin on the ground by the curb holding a now blood streaked arm.

“Tobin!” Christen ran over, crouching down beside her. “Baby, are you okay?”

The graze was mean and long but it didn’t look like it was deep. Still, Christen knew they had to get back inside and she helped Tobin stand up, picking up her skateboard and running over to get her hoodie and the penny board.

When they got back inside, Christen led them to the bathroom, helping Tobin sit up on the counter while she found the first aid kit. Tobin had a face like a wounded puppy.

“Baby, what happened?”

Instead of answering, Tobin just stared down at her arm that Christen was holding. She winced a bit when Christen ran some water over it, even more when she pressed a soft wash cloth on top of it. Christen asked again, and a small blush painted Tobin’s cheeks.

“Hey, look at me.” Christen murmured, tilting Tobin’s chin up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Just stings.”

Christen kissed Tobin’s head, nodding. “It’s about to sting some more, I’m sorry.” She cleaned the cut with sterilizer before bandaging it, her fingers moving delicately and softly.

“What happened?” Christen asked even more gently, knowing by now Tobin had avoided her question a few times. She had an inkling Tobin was embarrassed, but she didn’t want to make it worse.

She was surprised by her answer.

“You distracted me.”

“I distracted you?”

Tobin nodded, the blush still on her face. “I was skating near the curb and when I looked up you were pulling your hoodie off. It rode your crop top up and your abs were just right in front of me and I guess I just…my brain zeroed out. Then I hit the pavement.”

If Tobin was having trouble not laughing before, Christen was _definitely_ having trouble now.

“So, what you’re saying is my abs distracted you.”

“Your abs did distract me.”

“Well I’ll get them to apologize later.” Christen said seriously. She was doing so well in keeping a straight face before she saw the corner of Tobin’s mouth quirk up, and then she was a goner. They both broke into laughter, Christen leaning against Tobin’s shoulder as tears gathered in her eyes, not being able to believe how much of a love sick dork her fiancé was.

“I love you, _so_ much.”

“I love you too, Chris.” Tobin smiled softly, getting her easy going happiness back.

“Thanks for teaching me how to skateboard.” Christen kissed Tobin again once more before helping her off the counter, leading them back to the couch where they cuddled up together. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“It’s okay. Worth it. Got a cool battle scar to tell the tale.”

Christen just rolled her eyes, knowing Tobin would milk her little graze for all it was worth for the next few days. “If you bailed today and I didn’t, does that make me a better skater than you?”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Tobin grinned, her eyes slanted in a challenge as she moved Christen on top of her, kissing her lips. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little fun one-shot! hope it made y'all smile. can't thank everyone enough for the kind comments and all the love left on my stories, it makes my day ten times over. y'all are seriously too kind. i hope everyone is staying safe and well and happy as can be. sending so much love!


	10. how about now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last of my old one-shots that i've moved to this work! i'm happy everything is in one place now haha. i wrote this in 2019 after all the soft tobin and christen background content we got from the world cup and its celebrations. all the times tobin wanted to kiss christen.

The second she saw the ball leave Christen’s head and fly into the back of the net, Tobin collapsed onto her knees. She knew how much this meant, how much this mattered far beyond the team’s success. So overcome with emotion, she let her head touch the ground in thanks before she sprung to her feet, sprinting over to where her team had gathered around her girlfriend.

If you could measure the electric excitement bounding off that circle of players, this would have been off the charts on any scale. They were screaming, yelling out in joy, fists gripping each other’s shirts, arms held outwards ready to pull in every player that joined the fray.

Tobin only had eyes for Christen.

“You did it! You fucking did it!” Tobin buried her head in Christen’s neck, her hand moving up to cradle the back of her head. Her lips pressed against her skin just below her ear. “She’s so proud of you.”

When Tobin felt the joyous laughter against her and saw the smile taking up her face she swore nothing had ever mattered to her more than seeing Christen that happy.

Her hand was still on the back of Christen’s head when she looked up again. She beamed right alongside her, sending her own message of thanks to the woman undoubtedly shining on them that night.

\---

It was chaos.

The referee blew the final whistle and it was just _chaos_.

It was maybe the happiest moment of her career and Tobin ran straight into the arms of the person she wanted to share it with the most.

Grinning with glee, Tobin watched the confetti fall out of her hands onto Christen’s head, drawing out the eye roll and exasperated smile her girlfriend loved to give her.

Tobin had intended to go to the stands just to say hi to her family. But when she got to hold her niece close to her, kiss her soft head and feel her tiny fist grasp her shirt, she knew who she wanted to share this moment with.

“Do you want me to take her back?”

Tobin had looked up at her older sister before turning back to the field, immediately finding Christen who stood there with a smile.

“I want to take her to Chris. Is that ok?”

She first stopped at Ali and Alyssa who absolutely lost it at her niece, cooing and kissing her. Tobin could see Christen standing a few feet away watching softly, her hands resting on her hips. She kissed her niece’s head softly as she bounced her in her arms, finally making her way to Christen with a smile on her face she knew made her weak in the knees.

She felt a soft hand cup her elbow ever so quickly, and watched as Christen grazed her fingers over her niece’s back, laughing slightly at how in awe of the cameras she seemed to be.

“She’s beautiful, Tobs.”

If they weren’t in the most wide coverage tournament of their lives, Tobin would have kissed her, telling her how she couldn’t wait for that to be their future.

Later, Christen’s got that smile on her face and she’s standing right in front of her and they just won a fucking world cup and _fuck_ Tobin wants to kiss her.

She hopes the smile she holds as Christen leans forward to untangle her medal around her neck tells Christen as much.

\---

It’s sometime in the middle of the night and they’re somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic at some distance up in the middle of the sky. Tobin is buzzed, humming, her wired brain fighting against how utterly exhausted her entire body feels.

Her grounding, as always, is Christen. She had immediately fallen asleep on top of her when the plane reached its altitude. Tobin’s only real chance of finding sleep would be focusing on Christen’s tiny puffs of breath hitting her neck, the rhythm slowing her brain down and lulling her to sleep.

Christen’s lips were too far away for Tobin to meet, so instead Tobin pressed a kiss to Christen’s forehead, breathing in the scent that was home. As she pulled the blanket around them tighter, Christen nuzzled closer into her.

Even in her sleep, her lips responded to Tobin’s, pressing gently to the nape of her neck.

\---

On the day of the ticker tape parade in New York City, Tobin lost count of the amount of times she wanted to kiss Christen.

To be fair, the first time she definitely could have. They were in a hotel with most of the rest of the team waiting on further instructions for the parade. The room was chaos – all the girls were celebrating, some still drunk from the final, Tobin was sure of it – whilst admin staff ran back and forth between each other to finalize the float groups.

Ashlyn had already cracked open the biggest bottle of champagne Tobin had ever seen. Rose and Sonnett were sitting in chairs watching a viral dance meme they would surely have perfected by the end of the day, and Tobin was standing a few meters off to the side, watching Christen sitting on the arm of a chair talking animatedly to Mal. 

Tobin was somewhat listening to the conversation they were having, Mal was clutching the trophy absolutely enamored as Christen talked to her, but mostly Tobin was mesmerized by how Christen’s entire body went into recounting the memories she shared. Her arms moved across herself, hands gesturing wildly; her laugh took over her whole face and her eyes crinkled with her smile. 

“Y’all are too dang cute, let me take a picture.” Tobin was snapped out of her reverie when Megan stood next to her and spoke to Mal and Christen, phone in her hand. 

At Megan’s words, Mal turned around ready to smile for the photo when she spotted Tobin standing there. “Tobin! Come in for the photo.”

Not one to want to intrude on a moment, Tobin shook her head with a smile. That smile turned shy with a blush on her face when Christen looked at her as well, stretching out her hand.

Tobin knew Christen wanted her in there, she was giving her the same encouraging smile and hand movement that she had given her when standing on top of the outdoor bar in Lyon the night they had won the World Cup and she wanted Tobin to dance. 

Three years together and Tobin’s insides still melted every time Christen gave her that look. 

“Come in, baby.” Christen murmured, not loud enough for the entire room to hear but still loud enough to catch some of the ears of people nearby.

Sonnett was of course one of the people who heard. “Yeah, go on Tobs, have a family photo with your wife and daughter.”

“Annual Christmas card shot!” Allie clutched her heart in mock exaggeration.

Standing next to where Christen was sitting on the arm of the chair, Tobin felt Christen squeeze her hand and she gazed at her with a soft smile. If ever there was a time that Tobin wanted to kiss Christen and didn’t, it was then. Figuring them kissing would only rile the team up more, and not wanting to leave Mal in the background, Tobin instead redirected her love to the young forward she and Christen had essentially all but adopted ever since she joined the team three years ago. 

Tobin crouched down, placing her hand on Christen’s knee for balance and leant in to kiss the top of Mal’s head, just as she felt Christen wrap her arm around her shoulder and kiss the other side of Mal’s head.

As she heard the camera shutter go off she felt Christen pull her in tighter and she responded with a squeeze on her knee. It was enough for them. They knew. It was so much love. 

\---

Tobin wasn’t sure if the smell of champagne was starting to get to her or whether it was the New York heat, but by the time they were finally corralled out of the hotel and onto their respective floats for the parade she had given herself a moratorium on drinking. She soon realized this was a good idea – they had been moved to the floats but it would still be another hour before they actually took off.

That time was well spent with many a boomerang, selfie and video being taken. It was still chaos out there and Tobin wanted to have a moment with the group before things got moving. They had all grown to love each other with a bond as close as family, and Tobin knew, especially for the newer members of the team, how special this parade and these celebrations would be. 

“Yo, everyone, let’s have one last moment before this thing really gets going.” She called out to the members on the float, all of them responding by sitting in a quasi-circle at one end.

Tobin quickly came to realize that while she had put a moratorium on drinking for herself in the last hour, none of the other girls had done so, especially Christen.

In her defense, Christen had always had a weak spot – and a low tolerance – for champagne. Tobin could tell that after a morning of drinking and an hour in the sun, the alcohol had definitely taken advantage of that weak spot.

“Babe!” Christen had exclaimed as she half sat, half fell onto the spot on the floor next to Tobin. Out of instinct, Tobin reached her hands out to her waist to stabilize her, and Christen bumped her shoulder against hers in thanks. “It’s the _champagne._ ”

Tobin laughed at Christen’s half-hearted French accent and bumped their shoulders together again. “Are you having fun?”

“So much fun.” 

“Good, babe. Me too. I love seeing you happy like this.”

The smile Tobin got from Christen was exactly the type she would usually see right before her girlfriend leant in for a kiss. But, even in her mildly inebriated state, Christen knew a kiss wasn’t on the cards with as many cameras flying around as there were. Instead, she kept a warm gaze on Tobin as she watched her give a mini toast to the group of teammates on their float, all wanting to cherish the moment together.

“…this is probably one of the coolest moments of my life.” Tobin finished her toast to cheers and coos from the group, everyone holding their cups up with smiles on their faces.

“I got the chills!” Christen yelled out, the champagne free flowing as she raised her cup high.

Tobin laughed fondly, her right hand squeezing Christen’s hip as she listened to Morgan tell Christen she lifted her cup too early for the boomerang.

Tobin thought Christen was perfect.

When the cars finally started moving, Tobin had busied herself at the front of the float with the other rambunctious women and hadn’t immediately noticed that Christen was sitting at the back with a near empty bottle of water. She could tell they were about a few blocks from the parade starting and so grabbed her chance while she could. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Christen said as she looked up at Tobin who was walking towards her, coming to a stop and blocking the sun in a way that it hit the back of her head and formed a halo around her. “You look like an angel.” 

“Hello to you too, sweet talker.” Tobin was all soft smiles for Christen. 

“I’m overwhelmed. And tipsy. And I’m going to cry, I know it.”

“That’s ok, baby. That’s all ok.”

Tobin could see the gears working in Christen’s head, her eyes starting to dart around as their ears picked up the ever increasing sound of the crowd. “Hey, Chris, it’s alright.” She crouched down in front of Christen, squeezing her knee gently until she saw Christen nod at her.

“I just need a minute. But the parade is about to start.”

“It’s the _champagne._ ” Tobin poorly recreated Christen’s French accent from earlier, gaining a laugh from her girlfriend. “Don’t worry about it, ok? You take all the time you need back here, and when you’re ready you can come up and join us.” 

“But the fans – ”

“I’ve got it covered, don’t worry about that. I’ll have enough energy up there for the both of us.”

Christen gazed at Tobin softly, her eyes tearing up. “You will?”

A soft laugh escaped Tobin. She shook her head with a smile on her face, the way she always did when Christen’s actions made her heart swell and she just wanted to hold her forever. “Baby, of course. I promise it’s nothing to worry about.” 

Christen nodded and Tobin squeezed her knee gently again, letting her sit for a moment.

“Are you ok?” 

“I’m ok. I’m happy, really I am.” Christen laughed slightly as she wiped at her eyes, the tears betraying her statement. “It’s just all so much, you know? Even though it’s all good things and we’re celebrating one of the greatest times of our lives and – ”

“Baby, it’s so okay to be overwhelmed and be feeling it all at once like this. It’s _good_ to let yourself feel it and express it. It doesn’t matter if that comes out as laughter or tears or anything else. It’s all human.”

If Christen wasn’t crying before, she definitely was now. “How are you so perfect?”

“Now that’s _definitely_ the champagne talking.” Tobin had a tiny grin on her face, making Christen laugh and shake her head.

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

Tobin squeezed Christen’s knee again. “You’re too cute. And I’m the lucky one.”

The sounds of chanting and 4 stars on our shirts made both women turn their heads to where the float was heading, the crowd stationed behind barriers becoming visible in the distance. As she stood up, Tobin’s hand left Christen’s knee and came up to gently brush the underside of her jaw. 

“Take your time, Chris, okay?”

“I’ll see you out there.”

“I’ll be the one singing so off-key you’ll wish you never came up.”

Tobin wasn’t wrong. Well, she was a pretty terrible singer. But she did spend most of the parade singing, chanting and yelling out to the crowd, arms waving and pointing with a beaming smile on her face. When the crowd picked up, she saw Christen move to the top part of the float, holding the back as she looked on in wonder at the love and support being thrown their way. 

About half way through, Tobin saw Christen take a few deep breaths before moving to the middle of the float, lifting up her hands to wave to the crowd. She obviously had started to feel a little more sober. The cheering from the crowd picked up when they spotted her, tears of joy springing to both Tobin and Christen’s eyes with every little boy and girl she saw waving and clapping.

Tobin lost count of the amount of times she glanced at Christen and caught Christen glancing at her. Sometimes their eyes would meet for a soft second before darting away, and sometimes Christen would gaze at her as she shared her electric energy with the crowd. 

Like Christen, she was sure, Tobin was glad for her sunglasses for hiding the love heart eyes she was throwing her girlfriend’s way every time she glanced at her. She couldn’t do anything to prevent the soft smitten smile taking up residence on her face, though.

They both felt each other’s love all throughout the morning – as Tobin helped Christen off the float, as she gently squeezed her hip when they walked out on stage, as she yelled “yes Chris!” when she was getting her key to the city. Tobin didn’t think it was possible to fall more in love with Christen.

But then she would just gaze at her, standing in the middle of the stage with her head held to the sky, eyes closed in serenity as red white and blue confetti fell in waves around her and she couldn’t help but be close to her. She slid into place by her side, whispering in her ear. 

“Want to go take a nap?”

Christen let out a filthy groan at the thought of falling asleep together in their huge hotel bed. “Tobin, that’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

\---

They were in a stadium of 23,000 people and Tobin swore Christen raised her eyebrow in a tease as she took off her sweater and then her jersey, leaving her momentarily exposed in a sports bra. 

They were in a stadium of 23,000 people and Tobin _swore_ Christen bit her bottom lip as she took her sweater back from Tobin, pulling it over her head.

If this was how Christen would respond every time, Tobin hoped the fans would bring a ‘#23 Press can I please have your jersey’ poster to every game. 

They were in a stadium of 23,000 people, and Tobin had never wanted to kiss Christen more. 

(She told her as much, as soon as they rounded the corner of the changing room).

\---

By the national team standards, it really had not been a long time since they all saw each other. But after the summer they’d had, even a few days felt like a lifetime.

Open trainings were fun. The mood was always light, the banter flying in every direction. They never ran out of things to talk about. They were all still very much in the honeymoon phase of their world cup win and there was a childlike giddiness and excitement anytime someone recalled a memory or shared a moment. 

Right now, Christen was doing exactly that. 

“In my defense, this was probably hour 20 of being awake that day.” Tobin tried, interrupting Christen in the middle of her recount of the story from the night of the world cup win. 

“Yeah, yeah, you and all the rest of us, Tobin.” Julie said, sitting close by. “Yet you were the one that ended up on your ass the most.”

Tobin just laughed, shaking out her protein drink as Christen kept speaking. She was once again completely enamored with the way Christen spoke, the way her whole body moved with her words.

“…so I was just watching, and there’s like all these other people there looking at her in concern, and I go, oh no she’s fine, she’s fine – Tobin, get up, Tobin, get up!”

The women stretching in the circle crack up at the memory, even more so when Christen fell to the grass, her arms stretched out. “And she’s just lying on the ground like this, and I’m like Tobin it’s not funny, oh she must be _so_ drunk.” Christen laughed as Tobin fell backwards on the grass as well, remembering her actions. “It was so funny. And I was just like, trying to get her up – ”

“Oh that’s right! Because she kept trying to pull you down into a hug on the ground with her.” Morgan said, cackling with laughter at the memory.

“Yes! I was like _Tobin, get up!”_

“That’s when Allie came outside too, right? And she took one look at me on the ground and was like who does this dumbass belong to?” Tobin said, laughing with the others as Christen held her hand up in mock sheepishness, the same way she had done on the night of their win. “And I was on the ground like _I’m her girl!_ ”

“ _I’m her girl!_ ” Christen repeated in a deep voice, teasing how Tobin had sounded that night.

Open trainings were fun. But at that moment, Tobin wished it was closed, or more specifically, she wished she and Christen were in a closed room, so she could kiss her senseless. The more she smiled the more Tobin wanted to feel her smile against her lips, the way she laughed into their kisses, the way she would blush and grin when Tobin whispered sweet words into her skin. 

But then the whole team had gathered, and then there were kids to meet and pictures to take and fans to thank. And Tobin knew she should wait until they were out of the view of the public but if she couldn’t kiss Christen she at least wanted to try and be alone with her.

“Hey, Chris, wanna take a walk as a cool down?” Tobin had been following Christen around like a puppy, she knew, and Christen gave her a smile with eyebrows raised like she knew it too.

“Over to the end there?" 

“Yeah, over there.” Tobin was so enamored with Christen just walking next to her that she didn’t even notice Morgan and Lindsey following close behind them, bold grins on their faces.

“Get out of here!” She waved them off, watching as they giggled like school girls, pushing each other out of the way and scampering back to the rest of the group.

Tobin felt so relieved at finally being alone with Christen. She knew she was being needy and jealous with her time with her. For their standards, they really hadn’t been away from each other all that much recently. But Christen wasn’t someone you could easily forget about. The more Tobin was with her, the more deeply in love she fell, and the more she craved her. 

“You want to kiss me right now, don’t you?”

Christen’s statement made Tobin blush and look at the ground as she walked, a shy grin appearing. “Maybe.”

“I think that maybe is a definitely. Look at your cute little blushing face.”

“Maybe it’s because I’ve got a really big crush on you, Christen Press.”

“Oh my stars I might faint!” Christen said in an exaggerated accent. “Tobin Heath has a crush on little old me? _The_ Tobin Heath wants to kiss me?”

Tobin stopped at the end of the field and bounced on her toes a few times before she spoke, keeping up the shy act. “So I want to kiss you, but do you want to kiss me?”

A laugh came out of Christen as she rounded on Tobin, facing her. “Baby, always! You’re the love of my life. I want to kiss you all the stinkin’ time.” 

“All the stinkin’ time?”

“Every second of it.” Christen said, sending Tobin one of her trademark ‘nice try, but not quite’ winks. 

“How about now?” Tobin asked later, when she was sitting on the grass drinking water as Christen stood a few yards away, hands on her hips. 

“Of course.”

“And now?” Tobin asked again later, after she dropped Christen’s slides at her feet and handed her phone over to her.

“More than anything.”

“And now?” Tobin wore a smirk, asking one last time as they rounded the corner of the tunnel, finally out of the public eye.

Christen matched her smirk, walking her back into the wall with an eyebrow raised. “Just try and stop me, Heath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this whether it was a first read or not! especially my bad lip reading as to what they were talking about when they were sitting in the group cooling down after open training haha. keep safe and happy as can be, thanks to all of y'all for all the love, as always!


	11. rose city 'til...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see how the thorns made a business decision, but letting tobin go the way they did is so hard to swallow. this is my very brief attempt to write a one-shot about it

They knew it was coming.

They did.

First, with a feeling.

_“I saw Merritt when I was leaving training.”_

_“Yeah? How was he?”_

_“Short.”_

_Tobin’s answer made Christen stop cutting the pepper, putting the knife down as she looked up at her fiancé. She was in a post-training glow; excited, over the moon, even, to have been allowed back at Providence Park. Even if it was in a singular quadrant with Lindsey and Kling on opposite ends of the field. Even if she wasn’t going to be with her team for the Challenge Cup._

_It was soccer. It was Providence Park. It was the Thorns. Tobin loved every single second she spent there._

_And yet, something sat behind the glow._

_Christen looked into her eyes. The slightest tinge of hesitancy. Like Tobin had lifted up her foot and misplaced it on the way down, feeling off kilter in an environment she would have never expected._

_“Short?”_

_“Yeah.” A lip worried between her teeth. “Like, he was annoyed a little.”_

_“What did he say?”_

_“Um,” Tobin shook her fingers through her wild, wet hair. A hand came up into the air, waving about in a way that described something and also nothing, her shoulders shrugging up by her ears but not relaxing down again. “Nothing, really. I mean, we couldn’t really chat because, you know.” She gestured to the masks strewn across the table, and an invisible six feet of distance. “But I guess that’s the point, really. He barely said anything.”_

_The owner of the Thorns was by no means Christen’s favorite person in the world. And it wasn’t like he was in Tobin’s top 10, either. But she could see how it had jarred Tobin’s happy go lucky, excited nature. How it had brought to life a very real worry, one neither of them really thought would arise. But, it was there. Rumbling._

_“You don’t think – ”_

_“No, baby. I really don’t.” Christen’s fingers softly curled in the air, pulling Tobin to her so she could wrap her in her arms, feeling her melt against her. Her hands curled up to reach Tobin’s shoulders, massaging them gently until she felt the tension release, pulling them away from where they’d hunched unknowingly. “And even if Merritt was annoyed that you opted out of the Cup, he’s not the only one making decisions. It will be okay, yeah? Rose city ‘til you die, or whatever whatever.”_

_Tobin’s small, amused grin washed her worries away._

Then, with a statement.

_“This, uh…complicates things potentially, Tobin.”_

_Christen watched Tobin’s head tilt to the side. It wasn’t that they expected the Thorns to see them off to Manchester at the airport with a sign. But the words, the tone as Mark and Merritt kept talking…it didn’t sit pleasantly._

_“Sorry, I think you cut out for a second there. Did you say_ Crystal? _”_

_Their eyes met across the table they were sitting at, both widening when they learnt Crystal was in what sounded like still far away, but pretty likely to happen, trade negotiations. Tobin looked back down to the laptop, turning up the sound on the zoom call._

_“Oh, wow. That’s so awesome for her.” Tobin said genuinely, only Christen being able to recognize the pang of longing sitting behind it. She held her hand out on the table, palm up, feeling Tobin interlock their fingers and squeeze gently. It was a reminder of her support. It was also a reminder to both of them why their move to Manchester was so exciting. The chance to be playing on the same club team, it was a dream long in the making._

_A dream they weren’t expecting to be this…challenging._

_“Yes. And with the expansion draft later in the year, it’s all very,” Christen and Tobin met eyes again, waiting in silence for the word that would come next. Christen almost counted to 10 in her head before the man finally spoke, “complicated.”_

_S-H-O-R-T-?_

_Tobin traced against her palm, a silent question._

_Christen’s assuredness of the months before was long gone now. She looked into her honey eyes, and she didn’t have to nod to know that Tobin knew she agreed._

But now – now that it was here?

There’s something to be said for the human experience that you can think you’ve prepared for something, have totally embraced it happening, and yet still manage to get completely and entirely bowled over when it happens.

Christen wasn’t sure why she didn’t think it would hurt this much. Her Mom used to tell her all sense and sensibility flew out the window when it came to the feelings in your heart for those you loved. How it could expand so much you’d wonder how you ever thought you’d loved before. How it could ache so much you’d do anything without a second thought to take their pain away.

When Tobin got the call from Louisville they were both standing in the middle of their kitchen mid grocery pack-away and all Christen had were her arms. They weren’t enough to rid Tobin’s pain.

But they were enough to get her to the couch and pull her in close, wrap around her back that shuddered with deep, hiccupping breaths which turned into sobs, the kind that felt like almost a shock to Tobin herself. Like she hadn’t ever expected to be this overcome by it.

They knew it was coming.

They did.

And yet –

“Let it out, baby. I’m here.”

Trades were always hard. It was the exception, not the rule, that you didn’t come away feeling like a pawn in a game you would never get to control. Often, it was inconvenient. Sometimes, even maddening.

But when the trade took you from your home?

That was an incomprehensible feeling. A chest wracking reaction. A steady stream of tears, sort of thing.

It was raw.

-

Tobin’s hair had grown so much this year. Christen used to be able to run her hands through it and twist it gently around her fingers only once so that it would curl up at the back of her neck. Now, she had to reach further down, the brown locks twisting two, almost three times around before falling gently away, the process starting again.

They didn’t move from the couch for a long time.

Christen was there, fingers gliding through Tobin’s hair as the woman curled up against her, one hand splayed across her collarbone, two fingers gripping over her shoulder like she was literally hanging on to her.

When she started, she didn’t know, but Christen had been humming. The apartment was usually filled with Tobin’s whistling, and without it things were too quiet. She didn’t think it was the melody so much as the gentle vibrations against where Tobin’s head lay on her chest that were working more.

“Maybe it was arrogant of me,” Tobin’s voice was thick, almost clogged, with left over tears. Her voice was muffled, half pressed into Christen’s hoodie, and she tilted it to the side, a red and hot cheek becoming visible. She cleared her throat, Christen’s lips pressing against her tear stained face as she paused, “But I always assumed I’d retire as a Thorn.”

Hair wrapped around fingers once, twice, three times. The humming continued, filling the space softly. Christen’s voice was even softer. “Do you think it was arrogant to assume that?”

“No.” Tobin’s answer came relatively quickly, to which Christen was grateful. She couldn’t have disagreed more with the notion that Tobin raised, but she wanted to hear it from her. Wanted to make sure that on top of everything else this brought, self-doubt wasn’t eating away at her, too.

“It couldn’t be arrogant, because it wasn’t ever about thinking I was too good to be traded.” Tobin’s voice was small, the tears threatening a resurgence, straining her tone. “What it is about, is how you never think about leaving your home. You never think that your home won’t want you anymore.”

The first tear to escape any of them was from Christen’s eye, slipping down her cheek as she collected Tobin more in her arms, hums turning into croons of comfort, soft words and kisses and rocking and _god_ it was so hard to watch this happen to Tobin. So hard to be hit with this freight train heaviness that had nowhere to go but sit inside, getting worse and worse as it sunk in.

This wasn’t just a trade. This was more than that, more than a team. This was about Tobin’s home. Their home. How do you come to terms with that?

-

“You remember me, before Portland?” Tobin asked later, still laying flush against her.

“Old itchy feet?” Christen felt Tobin laugh once.

“Yeah. Something like that.” A hand curled into her hoodie. A chin dug into her neck. “Portland isn’t just home. It was my first home. My first adult home. The place that made me stop, finally, and think that I fit in somehwere.” Words whispered out. “And I didn’t just want it. It wanted me, too.”

Christen’s hand stroked up and down Tobin’s back soothingly, giving her space to talk, and giving herself the chance to try and collect her emotions lest she break into tears again.

“We fit like a glove. I touch down at PDX and it welcomes me back, every time.” Tobin laughed again, mostly to herself. “I think it enjoys my assumption of arrogance. Because that’s how it knows you love it. You love it so much the thought of leaving, it’s unfathomable. It never crosses your mind. Because if it did, if you were always one foot out the door, you could never fall into it. Never fall in love with it.”

Tobin’s words made Christen’s eyes glisten again, the ache in her chest growing stronger. Her arms tried to make it better, take the pain away, but Tobin was already burrowed so closely into her she wasn’t sure where they each began or ended. The kind of love Tobin had for her city was unlike anything she’d experienced at any of her clubs. It was the kind of love for a city she had growing up in LA. And she knew it was the kind of love they’d share for LA again, one day years in the future.

But right now, their lives were in Portland. Their home was in Portland. And Tobin was feeling it, all of it.

“You are in love with Portland, aren’t you. Entirely and completely.”

Tobin’s eyes squeezed shut, the grip on the hoodie tightening. Her chest moved again, a sob like motion, but the tears didn’t come. Maybe they’d been exhausted. “How could I not be? It’s not just my home, Chris. It’s _our_ home. We don’t just spend time there. We live there. We love there, laugh there. Cry and create there.”

She sat up, then, Christen looking at her passionate yet devastated expression. How her cheeks were still flushed, her eyes tired. Her smile sad, like it was resigned but yet was still coming to terms with it. She took Christen’s hands properly, kissing over the ring on her finger. Breathed in. “Portland gave me so much. But mostly, it gave me you.”

Now it was Tobin wiping away the tears dripping from Christen’s eyes.

“Our love grew there. My dreams with you planted in every walk we took, every shop we entered, every track we ran. Every rainy day we cuddled on the couch, every sunrise we watched from the balcony. Every French fry place you dragged me to and every donut place you said we deserved a treat at. My streets welcomed you in like an old friend. They put on a show for you. It was like Portland wanted us to be together.”

A different red painted Tobin’s cheeks now, not the flush of crying, but the blush of a memory.

“When the schedule would come out each season I used to mark down games.” Tobin laughed at Christen’s raised eyebrow in question, both of them knowing she never kept track of things like that. “Not the Thorns games. But when the Red Stars were playing at Providence Park.”

Like all of her features melted at once, Christen wore the softest eyes. Tobin continued, her cheeks pulled back into a smile like it was impossible not to think about this without doing so. Like she’d done it so many times before.

“Before we were together, but when I had the most ‘I think I might die if I can’t kiss you one day’ crush on you,” (Christen’s heart was at risk of actually imploding), “I would spend days researching all these restaurants in town. I tried to think about what you’d like or wouldn’t like, I drove Harry crazy with all my questions. But I just wanted to be sure, that when I asked you to dinner after the games, it would be perfect. Perfect for you, and perfect because that’s what Portland is.”

“Tobin,” The name came out of her mouth so reverently, like she couldn’t even believe what she was hearing. She’d never heard this, before. Never knew about it. “Did you really?”

A nod and a smile, then. A shake of her head like she couldn’t really believe she’d done all that, either. “The first few times I had to invite everyone. Couldn’t be too obvious, you know. Had to play it cool.”

“Such a dork.”

They laughed, and it was like the room itself breathed a sigh in relief after the sadness that it had been cloaked in earlier.

“But when we got closer, when it started to just be the two of us, those were my favorite games of the year. My favorite nights in Portland. It was never just a dinner. We’d go, and then by chance we’d walk past the most incredible busker I’ve ever heard. Or we’d find ourselves in a district lit up with lights for a festival on that weekend. Or meeting Rita at the bakery downtown who had so many amazing stories to tell us. And I’d planned the restaurants. But the rest? All those magical moments? That was all Portland. All for us. When we’re together there, it’s like the city protects us. It lets us just be.”

It was beautiful and heartbreaking, all at once. So much love wrapped up in a city. So much pain at the thought of having to see it go.

“Maybe I should have. But I never thought of being anywhere else but Portland for football. And it didn’t sink in, even after all the signs. Even after seeing us on the unprotected list. But hearing it from Louisville before, finally realizing it’s the end with the Thorns…it’s really hard. Really hard.”

Tobin’s voice cracked at the end and Christen squeezed her hands tighter, pulling her in to press a kiss against her lips. She kept their foreheads together, staying close in the suffering. Quietly murmuring, like anything loud would be a burden too great.

“I don’t think it’s meant to be easy, my love. I think this is one of the hardest things anyone could go through in their professional career.” She kissed her again, hands cupping her cheeks as she pulled back to look at her better. “I can’t imagine the hurt you feel. But I want you to know it’s okay _to_ feel it. More than okay. Portland means what it does because you’ve opened yourself up to it so much. You’ve allowed it in your heart, and that’s why it hurts this much to see the Thorns go.”

Tobin nodded with a watery smile.

“But, my beautiful girl, I promise you that even though you don’t have a place on the Thorns anymore, you will _always_ have a place in Portland. I promise that any city deserving of the love in your heart would never want to see you leave.”

Eyes closed like Christen’s words were a prayer, like they were the only thing keeping Tobin from crumbling again.

“Portland is a great city, because the people that live there are great. And do you know who my favorite person is?”

An eye cracked open slightly, half a lip twitched up.

“Probably Rita from the bakery downtown.”

Tobin laughed, then, a full belly one, leaning more into Christen.

“It’s you, baby.” Christen kissed her. “You’re one of the reasons the city shines. The Thorns lost that, but Portland doesn’t have to. It’s our home. It’s where we fell in love. And we deserve be there, still, if that’s what we want.”

Honey eyes met green, a grateful expression sitting on her face, breaths in and out that came easier and easier, no longer feeling crushed under the news. “Is that what you want?”

“You’re what I want, Tobin. Whether it’s in Manchester, Portland, Kentucky – ”

“ – it must be true love if Christen Press would move to Kentucky for me.”

“Baby, I’d move anywhere for you.” Christen wore a small grin, kissing Tobin’s ring. “Things are changing, now. And whenever we go back to the States, it’ll be so different. But this?” She gestured between them, hands interlocked. “Things move around us but we stay the same.” Tobin nodded, like it was the easiest thing in the world to agree with. Christen’s smile soared. “And I think, for all that Portland has given us, it deserves to see where all its hard work has gone, no?”

A full, honest to god, genuine smile bloomed on Tobin’s face, then. Christen’s heart jumped so much in happiness it was like it had kickstarted.

“Rose City ‘til…the next adventure?”

“Me and you, baby.” Christen beamed. “For all of the adventures.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i’m bitter at the thorns. second of all, can’t wait to support tobin wherever she goes next (how good are they at united, though, i’m loving that).
> 
> THIRD of all, i am s o sorry for me being awol, life the last few months has been A Time to say the very least. i will not spend more energy on it than that (please for the love of everything wear a mask, wash your hands and stay away from big crowds), but i am doing okay and I hope you all are too. i know i have really been non-existent on the updates and I have just seen all the gold love comments and they make me wanna cry with how supportive y’all are. i’m about 3/4 of the way through the next chapter, and i promise i’m gonna try as hard as i can to have it out in a week’s time! 
> 
> thanks again for reading this and being sad with me, but hopefully it was a bit cathartic for you to read because I felt a bit, a BIT better after writing it. i seriously got home from work, saw the draft online and then immediately wrote this haha. would love to hear your thoughts re the draft news and/or the chapter, or anything else! truly missed y’all and sending lots of love

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave a comment with what one shots you’d like to see! i’ll also probably put my older one shots on here, too. thank you for reading!


End file.
